Twisted
by quidditchplayersturnmeon
Summary: After an extremely drunken night, Finn and Brittany wake up in bed together. While trying to remember how and why it happened, they become a source of friendship and comfort to each other. Starting couples are Brittana and Finchel plus Fritters friendship
1. Part One

**A/N: As you may have noticed, I suck at summaries. While this is a Finn/Brittany story, I still haven't decided which direction to go with their relationship yet so it might be only friendship, maybe more. Either way, romantically, it's technically a Brittana/Finchel story, (possibly with a bit of St. Berry and Fuinn in the future) I hope you like it :)**

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><p>Part one<p>

'Finn… Finn!' He woke up to the sound of his own name, his head pounding and eyes blurry and a strange warmth next to him. As his eyes focused, he became aware of the messy blonde hair in front of him half covering a face only leaving the bright blue eyes staring back at him fully visible. Then he realised whose bright blue eyes they were.

"Brit! What the hell are you-" his eyes drifted down "Holy crap we're naked." He said, strangely more embarrassed than surprised.

"Yeah," she replied obviously feeling the same self-consciousness, "Do you think we-" her eyes widened, "Oh my God!"

"What?"

"You're still… You're still in me…"

As soon as the words registered in his mind he became aware of the same thing and was amazed neither of them had realised earlier, he blushed, becoming even more self-conscious. They shifted to free themselves and began searching for their clothes. 10 minutes passed in almost complete silence as they took turns to get dressed to give each other privacy.

"I'm done," Finn said pulling on his last shoe, "Do you remember what happened? I think I drank a lot last night."

"Me too, it's all a blank," she said as she turned to face him.

"Fuck, what are we gunna do, I'm still with Rachel right? I can't even remember anymore,"

"I think so, that's you and her in that picture, and I'm still with San, at least I still have our picture on my phone,"

"Fuck,"

"Yeah…" They both stood in silence for what seemed like hours.

"We gotta keep this a secret," Finn said finally, breaking the silence, "And make sure it never happens again, we can't let one drunken accident ruin everything," He suddenly put his hand on her shoulder, frightening her slightly, "Not that you're an accident, Brittany, it's just like… Well you're cool, I like you, you're awesome, but you know, Rachel, Santana,"

"I know what you mean, I like you too Finn, you're awesome, but it was an accident, pinkie promise not to tell," As he did so, she felt an awful stab of guilt threatening to tear right through her when she realised she not only cheated on Santana, she linked pinkies with the guy too, cherry on top of the worst girlfriend ever award.

"What time is it?" he asked her, taking her from her thoughts. She checked her phone.

"It's 5.30 in the morning,"

"Good, everyone will be asleep, I'll walk you outside, or like home, or whatever," they walked downstairs making sure they made as little noise as possible and as they got to the front door Brittany stopped him.

"Don't walk me home, Rory might be awake, plus I'm only a few blocks away remember, it won't be far. Besides, you look like you could do with more sleep, you can barely stand" He smiled realising she was right, if they had been partying all night and got up this early he had probably only had one or two hours sleep.

"I'll go to bed then, you though, you look like you've just been in make-up for 4 hours or something, I thought that whole beautiful girls waking up beautiful was supposed to be just in TV shows."

She beamed at him, "Thanks for saying I'm beautiful" she said before kissing him on the cheek and walking to the end of the drive. But she turned to him just as he was about to close the door, "Remember. Secrets okay."

She walked down the road looking much more deflated than her usual bouncy self. Finn closed the door and walked up to bed to get some sleep.

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><p>Sleep didn't come. He was too angry, angry with himself and ashamed of what he did. 'How could I do this?' He was only just fixing things with Santana, only finally becoming her friend, he did everything he could think of to help her with coming out, after all, it was partly his fault. Then he fucks her girlfriend.<p>

"You're a fucking idiot, Finn!" he shouted to himself.

"Err, Finn, are you okay?" Kurt's voice came from outside his bedroom door.

"Oh, erm yeah, I'm fine."

"Is it girl troubles?" He asked, opening the door and poking his head through the doorway,

"You could say that," Finn replied having to suppress a groan.

"I could talk to Rachel for you if you like," Kurt offered, helpfully. At the mention of her name though guilt flashed through him and sickness built up in his stomach.

"No, it's fine, I can fix this myself," he lied, "Thanks though."

As Kurt left the room Finns thoughts refused to stray from Rachel, they were finally happy, after Christmas things seemed almost perfect, how could things have changed so quickly? 'Why did I even drink that much in the first place?' he asked himself. However as soon as the thought had swept through his mind memories of last night came rushing to the forefront of his mind.

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><p><em>Rachel opened the door of her house inviting him in with a kiss, "I'll be ready in a minute, just go wait upstairs I need to finish doing the dishes and then I'll change into my dress for tonight. You look very handsome Finn." He smiled at her and said thanks before returning her compliment and climbing the stairs to her room.<em>

_ As he entered, his eyes focused on the still running laptop she had left open on her bed and he decided to check Facebook while he waited. As he sat down though he saw something that made his heart drop. An Email._

_ 'Dear Jesse,_

_I miss you too; I wish you would come back. Maybe you could coach Vocal Adrenaline; I heard they fired their old coach. It feels like too long since I have seen you, as for your question, I'm sorry, things are great with Finn and I don't want to ruin that. But you were right about one thing, I do still love you.'_

_ Finn felt a sharp pain in his chest as his brain slowly registered those 5 little words._

_ 'It's confusing Jesse, I hope you can accept just being friends, I want it to work with Finn, but I promise if anything ever goes wrong, you will always be the one I run too. I know it makes you sound like a back-up plan, but I swear that isn't true. It's complicated. Best wishes and all my love,_

_ -Rachel xxxxx'_

_ Finn stared at the second half of her email. "I'll show you things 'going wrong'," he muttered angrily._

_ They arrived at the Party half an hour later. Finn was angry, really angry. He barely spoke to her and decided to keep his distance once they arrived but she barely noticed; she seemed too excited about the night ahead. While she greeted other people at the busy house party he found some alcohol, vodka. 'Perfect,' he thought to himself. All he wanted was to drink until he couldn't remember the email, or jesse, or even his own name._

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><p>The walk home was cold but it passed by quicker than she expected and before she knew it she was on her bed, crying like a baby.<p>

"I'm so stupid," she sobbed, rocking back and forth in the foetal position. At least two hours passed before her tears started to subside and she got up and looked in the mirror. She looked a mess, ugly.

"How could Finn call me beautiful when I look like this."

Her phone buzzed and Santana's name appeared on the screen.

_- Baby, where did you go last night, I was worried. S x_

What was she supposed to say?

_- Finn, what r we supposed to tell ppl. S just asked wer I was last nite. B x_

_- Tell them we went 2 get more drink. We got lost decided 2 sleep where we were coz we were drunk. Then we woke up in my back yard. I think it sounds dumb enough for people 2 believe it was true with us being drunk. Finn._

She did as she was told and explained it to Santana. The lie felt awful, but the truth would be worse.

_- only you + Finn could end up doing something like that. I'm sorry about our argument baby, I love you. S x_

_- I luv u 2. B x_

'What argument?' she thought to herself. Then she suddenly remembered what had happened the night before.

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><p>"<em>Hey babes, do you want to go to a party tomorrow night?" Santana asked her, stroking Brittany's hair. She sat behind her, he legs wrapped around Brittany's torso holding her close.<em>

"_I can't, I'm going to the movies with Artie." She replied, finishing off the drawing of the mouse she had been doodling on Santana's leg with a biro._

_Santana went rigid before letting go of Brittany and climbing off the bed._

"_What's wrong?" She asked, getting up. She walked over to her beginning to wrap her arms around Santana, but she was pushed backwards._

"_Why are you with him? Why are you picking him over me?" Santana asked obviously upset._

"_I'm not! I swear, I just promised him I'd go, I've seen you almost every other night this week, what's the problem?" _

"_He's the problem!" She shouted, making Brittany step back slightly. "You still love him, don't you?"_

_Brittany was hurt, and her eyes began to water. "Of course not, I love you, we're only friends…" she said meekly, her head bowed to try and hide her tears._

"_Sure. Whatever," Santana replied._

"_What do you think I'm gunna do? Just jump him halfway through the movie?" Brittany shouted back, becoming angry at Santana's lack of trust. "Do you really expect me to cheat on you?" she asked, daring Santana to respond_

"_It wouldn't be the first time you've cheated on someone," she responded. Brittany's tears began to fall and anger and hurt mixed around in her like a violent storm._

"_Fine!" she shouted, "if you really feel that way, I'll cancel, I'd rather have you than friends." Santana softened._

"_I'm sorry-" _

"_Save it!" She put her hands up to stop Santana moving closer to her, "I'm going home, see you at your stupid party!" and with that she ran, out the bedroom, out the front door, all the way home._

_Brittany arrived at the party without Santana, but as she walked into the living room she saw her sitting in a circle. She was just about to say hi when she realised why. The bottle stopped pointing directly at Santana and she smirked, leaning forward she locked lips with Sugar and wrapped her hand around the back of Sugars head grabbing her hair. The kiss seemed to be a long one, too long to be just part of the game. Brittany turned on her heels and searched for the alcohol, she picked up a drink someone had left by the sofa and downed it in one. She just needed to forget._

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><p><em>- I think I no why I was so drunk. B x<em>

_- Me too, What was wrong? Finn._

_- Me and Santana had a fight, what about u? B x_

_- I saw something I shouldn't have on Rachels computer. Finn._

_- What was it? B x_

_- She emailed Jesse saying she still loved him. Finn._

_- That's awful. B x_

Finn wanted to explain more, but that wasn't something he was ready to get into.

_- What did you and Santana Argue about? Finn._

_- It's not important. B x_

_- Well I'm here if you need me._

_- Thanx Finn. Ur a good friend. B x_

_- You 2. Finn._

_- Lets just make sure we keep it just that. B x_

_- Of course. I'm going back 2 sleep. Talk later. Finn._

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><p><strong>AN: I just wanted to add a quick apology to people who are fans of the whole Sugar is the Brittana baby thing. So like, yeah, sorry for her making out with her mom :P I hope you could just put that out of your head while you read it.**


	2. Part Two

Part Two

Finn woke up to the unnecessarily loud buzzing coming from the bedside table where his phone was vibrating. Four new messages.

_- Hey sweetie. Do you want to go see a movie tonight? Rachel xoxox_

Finn ignored the text completely, angry that she didn't even have anything to say about him leaving with Brittany. After he rethought it though, he calmed down realising she might not have even noticed. 'Big surprise,' he thought, his anger quickly resurging, 'she never notices anything but herself… and Jesse'

_- Hi Finn, it's me, Quinn. I'm really sorry about last night, I know you were drunk and I was probably a bit too hard on you. I hope your hangover wasn't too bad. Quinn x (L)_

_- Hi, it's me again. I just realised you disappeared half way through the night but Rachel was still there, were you ok? Where did you go? Quinn x (L)_

_- Okay Finn, text me back, unless your sleeping off a hangover I'm going to be mad at you, I'm kind of worried now, you disappeared in the middle of the night, so drunk I don't think you could remember your own name. Brittany disappeared too but at least she let me know she was okay when I asked her this morning. Just, please be okay. Quinn x (L)_

He re-read Quinn's messages over and over. She always did care about him, but they had barely talked at all recently. They were civil and friendly enough but ever since he had broken up with her they had become distant. He stared at her sign off at the bottom of her text; the name, the kiss and the heart. It ignited feelings he almost forget he had, all he could think off was wrapping his arms around her just to let her know how important she was to him. Hell, he wanted to remind _himself_ how important she was to him.

_- Hi Quinn, don't worry I'm ok. I have been sleeping almost all day. It was Brittany I left with. I think we went to get more drink and ended up getting lost. We woke up in my back yard, don't know how we got there but I'm ok. I don't think I'm gunna drink for a while though. Thanks for worrying though. Finn x. btw, what did I do last night that made you be harsh on me?_

_- Oh thank god, Finn! I was worried about you; don't scare me like that again. It was just something about mistletoe; I think you kind of forgot we weren't together. I shot you down pretty badly, but if you don't remember then it's probably better. Sorry about it, anyway. Quinn x (L)_

At the mention of the mistletoe more of last night managed to resurface.

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><p><em>He stood up from the sofa he was sitting on and his vision began to blur from his dizziness, the music from the speakers had started playing something unfamiliar that he didn't like so he decided to go outside to escape it. On is way outside however he found a bit of mistletoe hanging from the door way, it reminded him of decorating the choir room and Rachel kissing him under the mistletoe. He smiled at the thought but then his mood turned sour as he remembered how pissed off he was. <em>

_ From the next room he heard the sound of Quinn laughing, 'ah, Quinn, now there's someone to kiss under the mistletoe.' He thought to himself developing a plan he didn't think could possibly go wrong, he pulled the mistletoe from the doorway and took it outside with him, hanging it from a branch on a tree in the back yard. _

_ He walked back to the house searching for Quinn and finding her in the kitchen getting a drink._

_ "Quinn!" he called to her,_

_ "Hi Finn," she said recoiling slightly as she realised how drunk he was,_

_ "Come with me there's something cool I want to show you!"_

_ "Erm," she hesitated a moment until finally relenting, "okay then," she said, rolling her eyes, she was obviously confused but she usually did indulge his weirdness when he was drunk. He led her outside and when he got to the tree he turned to find she had stopped half way across the garden._

_ "Come on, Quinnie-bee!" he said, making her giggle a little, "It's just here."_

_ "This better be good," she said, walking towards him but as she reached the tree he put a hand out to stop her. After downing what was left in his cup he pointed up to the branch above her and her eyes widened._

_ "Mistletoe," he said, slurring his words slightly. He winked at her and before she could react he placed a quick but gentle kiss on her lips. As he leaned back grinning, she unfroze and slapped him across the face. "What was that for?" he asked her slurring even more._

"_For kissing me you drunk idiot!" she shouted glaring at him._

"_But you like kissing me! You never stopped me before" _

"_When we were dating I liked it! Not when you're drunk and…" her tone softened as his face fell, she pulled a tissue from her pocket, "not when you're drunk and drooling," she finished, wiping the drool from the corner of his mouth._

"_Sorry" he said._

"_It's ok," She stared at him and Finn wanted to ask what she was thinking, but he suddenly realised it would be an excellent time for another kiss. He moved in again pressing his lips to her, more forcefully this time, before she pressed her hands to his chest and shoved him backwards._

"_I love you Quinn!" he told her, his words slurring badly. He tried to take her hand but she jumped backwards at his touch._

"_You can't do this you stupid asshole!" she shouted, making him step backwards too. "I loved you and we fucked it up, you cant do this now, we're done got it? I loved you," she hesitated, "I love you, but right now I wish I didn't, just leave me alone Finn."_

"_But-"_

"_Fuck off!" she shouted, staring straight into his eyes, before storming off back to the house._

"_Okay, Quinn." He said, so quiet he could barely even here himself say it. He sank to the ground, deflated. 'How many girls are going to break my heart tonight?'_

_When he returned to the house he caught a glimpse of Quinn and Rachel at opposite sides of the room and decided he wanted to be as far away from both of them as possible. He moved to another room and found a quiet corner to sit in and found Brittany with a bottle of Jack in her hands._

"_Hey Britt-britt,"_

"_Hey Finn, want a drink?"_

"_Hell yeah," She passed him the bottle and he took 3 huge gulps before passing it back._

"_This party sucks," they said in unison, and they turned to each other smiling. _

"_Should we get out of here and find somewhere cool?" she asked him taking the bottle back._

"_Yeah, I'll say bye to Rachel and we'll go" he stood up and walked over to Rachel who had just walked into the room, "hey babes," she looked at him noticing how drunk he was, she was becoming quite drunk herself too, "I got an uber cool plan! I gotta go and I'll tell you about it tomorrow, bye!" he turned around and almost tripped over the table behind him,_

"_Bye, clumsy!" she called as he walked out the front door where he saw Brittany waiting for him holding out the bottle of Jack Daniels and holding a bottle of clear liquid he guessed was vodka for herself._

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><p><em>- Finn. Can I come round? B x<em>

_- Yeah, of course. Finn._

Brittany arrived after 15 minutes and they sat on his bed playing cards for half an hour before Finn finally got the courage to ask why she wanted to come round.

"I feel like I can't be honest with anyone else right now," she told him, choking slightly on her words. "I never told you what me and Santana argued about, I was going to hang out with Artie, and she got upset and started accusing me of being in love with him"

"It will be okay Brittany, she is just scared of losing you, I would feel the same if I was in her position, it will all blow over,"

"That isn't the whole thing though, I asked if she expected me to cheat on her, she said it wouldn't be the first time…" she began to cry and Finn pulled her closer putting his arm over her shoulder, "I got mad at her for accusing me of being a cheater, but she was right, look at what happened… I'm just a dirty whore,"

Finn sat there holding her unsure of what to say, he wanted to try and make her feel better but he felt the same about himself, anything he could think of saying to her made him feel like a hypocrite.

"It's not your fault Brittany," he said eventually, "You were drunk and lonely and upset, we don't even remember it, Santana would forgive you for it if she found out."

"No she wouldn't, nobody would, look at Quinn, she was drunk and everybody called her a whore, and a skank and everything nasty that I am, she was drunk and nobody thought that was okay,"

"You aren't those things Brittany!" he told her, turning her to face him again, "and neither is Quinn, yeah I was angry at first, but I got over it, I realised that I shouldn't be so harsh when she was drunk, and I've never ever stopped loving her despite what happened, you were even more drunk than she was and if Santana loves you as much as I know she does she'll forgive you," he took her hand and gave it a reassuring Squeeze, "it's me she wont forgive."

"Thanks Finn, but I don't think she'd ever, ever forgive me"

"We'll keep it a secret so she never needs to find out then,"

"Yeah…" She looked up and cocked her head sideways slightly, "You said you still love Quinn,"

"No I didn't"

"Yes you did! You said you never ever stopped loving her"

"Oh, I guess I do, but, I don't really want to talk about it right now, sorry,"

"It's okay, can I…" she considered her next words carefully, "Can I have a hug? I really need one."

"Yeah, sure," he said, lying down on his side and pulling her to him, his arm wrapped around her torso and both of her legs wrapped around one of his, "It will all be okay, Brittany, we'll fix this, I promise" he told her as the tears started to fall again, he rocked her gently and he began to cry with her, as images of Quinn, Rachel, Beth and Santana flashed through his mind. They held each other like this until they finally both cried themselves to sleep.


	3. Part Three

**A/N: This Chapter is shorter than the first two but the next one should be longer.**

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><p>Part Three<p>

"What the hell are you doing?" her tone was indignant as she woke them both up.

"What? What's going on?" Finn asked groggily. He suddenly became aware of the slender blonde pressed tightly to his body and his eyes shot open to find Rachel and Kurt standing over them, he loosened his grip on Brittany and they both sat up with guilty expressions.

"It's not what you think-" Brittany started to explain but Rachel interrupted.

"I just caught you in bed with my boyfriend, there isn't any situation where you could say there isn't something wrong!"

"Maybe you should at least give them a chance, Rachel" Kurt told her, with a pleading look in his eyes.

"Fine."

Brittany was looking away from them all so Finn decided to explain things, "Well Brit came over before cause she was upset and needed a friend,"

"Brittany had lots of friends, you two aren't even close, don't pretend you'd ever be her first choice!" Rachel shouted glaring at Finn, this time it was Brittany that spoke up.

"That's not fair! Finn is one of my best friends, we're in glee club together so we're always hanging out and I've known him a lot longer than you have, Rachel so don't dare say that Finn isn't my friend! Plus, since we hung out after we left the party last night we've become really close…" Finn looked anywhere he could trying to avoid the three other pairs of eyes in the room, terrified it would mean Kurt or Rachel reading his thoughts.

"Well you've got that right, you looked really fucking close to me!" Rachel Shouted. Her eyes began to water and she ran out of the room, nobody spoke until they heard the front door close.

"I hope you two are telling the truth, I better go after Rachel," he gave Finn a knowing look and left as well. Brittany stood up and walked over to Finns bedroom door before turning back to him.

"I'm sorry, Finn, I'm so stupid! I ruin everything!" she turned and ran out of the room before he could reply, for some reason he felt compelled to run after her instead of Rachel but she was already at the front door when he had reached the top of the stairs.

"Brit! Wait!" he called after her, he wanted to tell her she wasn't stupid, he just wanted to make her smile again but she was already gone.

"Was that Quinn?" Finn turned to see his mom standing in the doorway of the living room with a concerned look on her face, "Her hair has gotten longer again"

At the mention of Quinn's name, longing filled his head, Rachel and Quinn; it looks like both would be out of his life soon. He missed them, he just felt lonely no matter who was there. "No mom, it was Brittany, another one of my friends from glee club,"

"Oh right, she just looks a little bit like Quinn, maybe it's just the blonde, but she does remind me of her a bit," she turned to walk back into the living room, and he realised just how right she was. A strange confused feeling bubbled up inside him; maybe he could see how they could end up in bed together after all.

"Yeah, she does look a bit like her…" he half whispered to no one in particular.

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><p><em>"Hey Brittany, where do you want to go?" he asked starting to shiver, she took a swig from her bottle and seemed to consider for a moment.<em>

_ "I don't know where we are," she said and then burst out laughing, Finn wasn't sure what was funny but for some reason he burst out laughing too, they walked further with their arms linked laughing uncontrollably. "It's freezing, what's closer, your house or my house?" she asked him._

_ "Mine, it's only about 5 minutes straight down this road,"_

_ "I'll race you!" she said excitedly, and began to run as fast as she could, Finn chased after her but before long they were both stumbling from the effects of the alcohol, about halfway there Brittany fell over onto a patch of grass and rolled around in fits of laughter._

_ "Comfortable down there?" Finn asked her with a smug smirk playing across is face. Brittany smirked as well and in one smooth move her legs kicked his from under him and he found himself lying on his back next to her. "You know it actually is," he said laughing even more. _

_ Brittany leaned over him, looking down, her golden hair brushing his cheek and her skin radiant in the glow from the street lamp. She looked at him questioningly, "What you got that look on your face for?"_

_ He looked at her, thinking of all the times he spent staring into Quinn's eyes, her leaning over him just like this, skin glistening and the sparks flying between them. Every feeling he had for her surfaced at once and before he could help himself, his lips crashed into Brittany's. He couldn't even tell the difference anymore, Quinn or Brittany, it didn't matter to him. All he knew was that, warranted or not, he felt nothing but love for the girl in front of him, nothing but unwavering passion and dedication. She was all that mattered._

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><p>After a few minutes Brittany's legs gave way and she stopped running, collapsing onto a patch of grass. She'd gone the wrong way after leaving Finn's to avoid Rachel and now she wasn't quite sure where she was. After drying her tears she began to stand but as she did so, she noticed an empty glass bottle not too far away and the patch of grass suddenly became very familiar.<p>

* * *

><p><em>"Sorry," Finn said, pulling away with a slightly traumatised look on his face, "I got confused, I think I thought you were Quinn for a moment." At this Brittany was quite taken aback and placed her hand soothingly on top of Finns.<em>

_ "Do you still love her?" he nodded. "Then why are you with Rachel?" _

_ "I never said I didn't love Rachel too," He bowed his head, refusing to look Brittany in the eye._

_ "It's okay," she said giving his hand a squeeze, "I know you can love two people, it doesn't mean you love either of them any less it just means you have more love to give" she told him, feeling quite insightful and clever._

_ "Thanks," he said, still refusing to look at her._

_ "Quinn is very pretty,"_

_ "Yeah,"_

_ "Do you really think I look like her?"_

_ "Kind of," he shrugged, "to be honest, it's more like you look related, you're both blonde, both are really thin… your skin glows the same way in the light," He smiled at the ground still avoiding eye contact, "You're both really beautiful, I guess it's just that there are a lot of similarities rather than you actually look like each other." Brittany suddenly felt her face warm and felt the urge to link her fingers into his._

_ "You think I'm beautiful?" she asked him, suddenly incredibly insecure of his opinion._

_ "No, Brittany, I don't _think_ you're beautiful, I _know_ you are. I may be dumb but even a blind person could tell that you're beautiful."_

_ She stood up, still holding his hand, and pulled him off of the ground to face her. _

"_Thank you, Finn, that was really sweet" she told him, before leaning in to kiss his cheek._

_ "Well I meant it," he replied. She grinned again and stared straight into his eyes, she knew she was drunk and that this was a bad idea, she knew there were a million reasons she shouldn't do it, she just couldn't remember any of them. So right there and then, in a moment of impulse, she reached a hand around his neck and pulled him in for a long, passionate kiss. He returned it almost instantly, winding one hand through her hair and placing the other on the small of her back, pressing her as close to him as he could while still allowing them both room to breathe. The world around them was silent and faded out of their shared consciousness; they were lost in each other._


	4. Part Four

**A/N: I just thought I should put a warning here that there might be a trigger or two in this chapter so be warned.**

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><p>Part Four<p>

Santana had been at Brittany's all morning, surprising her when she woke up claiming that she missed her. They had done nothing but watch DVDs since she arrived and Brittany had rejected all of Santana's attempts to be affectionate, she knew she was imagining it but she felt like she could still taste Finn on her lips. It made her sick with guilt which meant she was only half lying when she claimed feeling ill was the reason she seemed was being distant with Santana.

"Then I'll look after you," Santana told her with a smile before kissing her on the cheek and standing up, "I'll go make us some sandwiches and I'm going to be your nurse all day, if only I had brought my candy striper outfit with me," she winked as she left the room, leaving Brittany to sulk.

She wished Santana would just be horrible to her, the nicer she was the worse she felt about what she did, it didn't matter what Finn said; it was her fault. Even if Santana did forgive her like Finn forgave Quinn, Brittany could never forgive herself.

Santana returned and they ate the sandwiches in silence with Santana stroking the side of Brittany's leg lovingly. After ten minutes Brittany realised that she was the only one eating.

"Santana?"

"Yeah, babe"

"Why aren't you eating the sandwiches?" Santana looked away and pretended to be fascinated with whatever was outside the window.

"I am, I had a few"

"No you haven't, you made four, I've had 3 halves and there's 5 halves left, that makes 8 right? Why aren't you eating?"

"I'm just not hungry,"

"Why did you lie about eating then?"

"Fine," she grabbed two halves of a sandwich and ate them, "Happy?" she asked with a smile.

"Yeah, I was just curious," Brittany replied. She was slightly worried, Santana's smile hadn't reached her eyes and she seemed irritated with her. 'Don't give her more reason to push you away, you fucked up enough already' she told herself.

"I need a pee, while I'm gone, can you get me a drink?" Santana asked getting up and walking towards the bathroom.

"Yeah sure, I'll be right back," Brittany walked to the door as Santana closed the bathroom door behind her, as she opened the door she realised she forgot to ask what drink Santana wanted, she closed it again and walked towards the bathroom. She was about to ask the question when she heard an unmistakeable sound, the sound of someone vomiting.

The door opened and Santana's face was in shock, obviously not expecting Brittany to be waiting there staring right at her.

"Brit…"

"Santana, why?"

"Why what?" Santana countered, becoming defensive.

"Why did you just make yourself puke?" Brittany replied, her voice raised, more from worry than anger.

"I just don't want to put any weight on, what's the big deal?"

"You're making yourself puke after eating! You didn't even eat much! That's a pretty fucking big deal San!"

"Get over it, Brits, you've done it before!"

"Yeah, like twice! And then never again, it's horrible Santana! You need to stop!"

"Why the hell would I stop when it works?" she asked becoming increasingly angry.

"How the hell does it work? It can really fuck up your body!"

"Well I got you! You think I'm hot, so I want to stay like that, okay?"

Brittany became timid, was this all her fault? "San… you didn't get me because you're skinny, and you're not just hot, you're beautiful. And you're beautiful for more reasons than your body…" Brittany stepped forward and pulled Santana's top over her head and turned her to the mirror. Brittany stared at Santana taking it all in, her ribs were showing and her hip and collarbones stood out much more than they should. "Look at you baby, I love you, but if you get any skinnier, it will be scary, you barely eat and when you do you throw up, how are you supposed to be a cheerio if you can barely stand because you're always so hungry? You'll get so thin your uniform will drop off you…"

Tears were building up in Brittany's eyes, but Santana remained cold and defensive, she grabbed her top and pulled it back on. "You're talking a load of shit, Brittany!" She pushed past her and walked towards the door, "I'm hot, so what if I have to go hungry or puke to make sure I stay that way, if you don't want me there's hundreds of people that do!"

"You…" Brittany hesitated, unsure if Santana meant what she had just said, "Do you really mean that? Do you really think I don't want you? Would you really just move onto someone else that quickly?" Santana stood there in the doorway, avoiding Brittany's gaze until she finally relented.

"No… I wouldn't move on. But I did mean part of it, you're supposed to love me for me, you're supposed to accept me just as I am, so I don't eat much and I throw up, stop trying to change me!"

"Are you insane? This isn't a part of your personality, it's not a hobby or a bad habit Santana, it's an eating disorder… An illness, that's not a part of who you are!"

"Yeah well some people say that about people like us, it's not who we are, its an illness, they say they can cure us. Would you like that Brit? Do you want someone to come along and 'cure' my love for you? Maybe I can go back to sucking Puckerman's dick and then you won't have to deal with me anymore, is that what you want?" Santana almost spat the words out making Brittany's tears finally fall. She didn't know how to deal with all this, she knew Santana wasn't really angry with her; she knew it was just her being defensive but she had no idea how to calm her down.

"Baby… its not the same, of course I don't want that, we aren't ill. But what you're doing to yourself, that is an illness," She spoke softly and tried to take Santanas hand but she pulled it back, "It's got a name and everything, I dunno what its called, it starts with a 'B' I think… Please, Santana"

"I'm not talking about this with you, I'll see you in school on Monday," she said coldly, "Just give it a fucking rest, Brittany, don't be so fucking dramatic!" She slammed the bedroom door as she walked through it and stormed out of the house leaving Brittany crying unable to call after her.

Anger and frustration welled up in her and she began hitting everything in sight, throwing anything she could grab across the room, she began to tire and fell to the ground, her hand catching on a piece of her broken mirror.

"Shit!" she grabbed a cloth to wipe away the blood but as she looked at it a strange feeling warmed her body, as she stared at the blood trickling its way down her arm from the palm of her hand, she felt a lightness envelop her body, as if with each droplet of crimson another fear was leaving her body, cleansing her of all her pain and confusion. She stayed there for an hour mesmerised by the bleeding and the slow crusting of the blood, running through the shades of red, brown and black as it dried. She felt at peace.

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><p>"Rachel, listen to me please!" he had been trying to explain what happened between him and Brittany for half an hour but hadn't got more into the explanation than "We're just friends" she had been walking around her bedroom, pretending she was busy, refusing to acknowledge him since he had arrived. Eventually he had enough and grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her to look at him.<p>

"We. Are. Just. Friends!" he told her "She was feeling crap cause she had an argument with Santana, I gave her a hug and we were both upset and ended up falling asleep! That's it, got it!" he took a deep breath, " I don't know how it happened but we just became really close really quickly after we hung out after we ditched the party,"

"Why did you even ditch the party anyway, you said you had something to do, I didn't realise that something, was a bubbly blonde cheerio!" she shouted.

"It's not like that! I was just pissed at you, she was upset with Santana so we both decided to get out of there instead of feeling miserable, nothing happened!" he lied, willing her to believe him.

"You- you were angry at me?" she asked, "What did I do wrong?" she sat down on the bed, looking withdrawn. Finn watched her for a minute as she tried to work out what could have happened before he decided to explain things.

"I saw the email, Rachel," he told her trying not to show his emotions.

"What email?"

"The one to Jesse…" He continued to watch his composure as her eyes widened and the pieces clicked into place in her brain.

"I'm so sorry Finn…" she walked towards him tears already running rivers down her face, a pleading look in her eyes, "I swear I love you, I swear!"

"I know…" guilt once again shot through him, there she was crying and asking for forgiveness from him and all she had done was at worst emotional cheating, he woke up, his dick still inside someone else just the day before. "I still love Quinn," he blurted out before he was even aware of it, it was almost as if he had so many surface thoughts he was trying to press down that one of them slipped through and spilled out of his mouth.

"What?" she looked shocked, more tears pouring down her face. He did his best to think of a way to salvage to situation.

"You're in love with Jesse, I'm in love with Quinn, we're both in love with each other," 'I'm developing a thing for the girl I fucked behind your back,' he finished in his head, "So I guess, we're even right? I shouldn't be mad at you,"

"I…"

"Listen, I know it sucks, but one of my friends once told to me, 'you can love two people, it doesn't mean you love either of them any less it just means you have more love to give' or something like that anyway, I'm with you, I picked you Rachel and I love you, we can't help having feelings for other people, especially not two people that have been such a big part of our past. But we can help how we choose to act on those feelings," He felt quite proud of himself for that line, "I'm not going to be mad at you for something you can't control, I should only be mad at you if you cheat on me…" 'Hypocrite, prick, liar, bastard, I hope you're proud of yourself,' he willed the voice in his head to shut up.

"I guess, just promise me you wont leave me for Quinn,"

"I promise…"

"Or anybody else,"

"Or anybody else, not Quinn, not Brittany, not anyone…" It was only after the look on her face at Brittany's name did he realise his mistake. He had just let Rachel know, Brittany meant something. 'Fucking moron, Hudson..'

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><p><strong>AN: In case anyone is wondering, yes what brittany feels is what self harm feels like and this might sound like obvious advice but DO NOT TRY IT. It doesn't feel like that for long and eventually turns into something much, much worse.**


	5. Part Five

**A/N: I didn't get this chapter up as quick as I would have liked because of new year and everything, so sorry about that. But that reminds me, Happy new year everyone :) hope you had a good day/night/weekend.**

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><p>Part Five<p>

Finn looked at the clock, 15:47. He had spent all day at Brittanys after telling each other about the day before. Finn helped her tidy her room while she explained about catching Santana, and then he told her about Rachel and admitting his love for Quinn.

They had promised each other to try and forget everything and have one day where they could just have fun instead of crying and hating themselves, so the rest of the day was spent watching bad movies and eating popcorn. About halfway through the second movie though, they had ended up throwing the popcorn at each other and the room was almost as bad as before they had cleaned it in the morning.

A knock on the door distracted them from the movie, and Rory poked his head into the room.

"Hey Brittany, me and Sam were going to go out, we wondered if you wanted to come with us, oh, hello Finn Hudson,"

"Finn's here?" they heard Sam call from the hall, he pushed his way in past Rory, "Hey dude, what you doing here?"

"Just chilling,"

"Hmmmm, weird, I didn't know you two hung out, outside of- what's with the popcorn?"

"We wanted to make it snow, isn't it pretty?" Brittany asked him, grinning and Finn started to laugh.

"Erm, right…" he said bewildered, "So you guys coming?"

"No, I think we'll probably just stay in all day,"

"Suit yourselves," he said, leaving.

"Bye Brittany, Bye Finn Hudson," Rory said, following Sam.

Finn and Brittany called goodbyes to the both of them and went back to the film but as Brittany reached for a piece of popcorn on the bed, something on her arm caught Finns eye.

"Brit why is your sleeve red?" he asked, she looked down and saw 3 straight, slightly bulging lines of red standing out against the white of her hoodie, her eyes widened and she hid her arm and turned to him, composed.

"It's not, you're imagining it, Finn," she said coolly, "Just watch the movie,"

"I know what I saw Britts,"

"You're imagining it, Finn," she said with a bit more command in her voice.

"Don't lie to me Brittany!" he said, refusing to accept her answer.

"Okay… I'm sorry," she said softly, his words leaving more of a wound than he realised. She shrugged off her hoodie and held out her arm to him, he looked down and was shocked at what he saw, 7 cuts about half an inch apart lay on her skin between her wrist and the crook of her elbow, 3 of them re-opened.

"Brittany…" he whispered stroking the tender skin, she flinched but didn't withdraw her arm, "Why?"

"I cut myself on some glass yesterday when I trashed my room, it felt good, relaxing, it felt like all the bad things were draining away," She said, turning to look at him, "I did it again, on purpose, I know it shouldn't, but it made me feel happy, it made everything better."

"Brittany, you shouldn't do that to make you feel better, you need to stop!"

"I cant, Finn every cut I made, I needed to do it again even more, it took so much willpower to stop there, I'm not going to lie to you and say the need won't come back, I know it will and I just can't lie to you. I have to lie to everybody else now; I need one person to be completely honest with. I can't stop Finn; I need it."

"I…" he struggled to find words, "I'm not giving up on this, you won't listen to me yet, but don't think I'm going to let this go" he sighed and stood up. "Wait here."

He walked to the bathroom and returned with a warm, damp cloth, he began tenderly padding Brittanys arm, cleaning the crusting blood and then holding it in place to soak up the fresh trickles from the open wounds.

"Thank you," she whispered to him, kissing his forehead once he was done.

"I'll kiss it better," he suggested, placing a gentle kiss on each cut, then looking into her eyes.

Memories of the drunken kisses they shared on the way to his house resurfaced and they both felt the strange yearning for each other. Everything seemed to become more noticeable, Brittany could smell Finns deodorant, her eyes shone brighter than he could ever remember, they inched closer together, lips slightly parted until Finn pulled back realising what they were about to do, Brittany came to her senses and shuffled backwards creating some space between them to relieve the tension.

They sat in silence unsure of what to say to each other.

"I love you!" Finn almost shouted, again speaking before his brain had even realised it.

"What?" Brittany asked, eyes wide in shock.

"Like, I mean as friends, you're like my best friend, I know we only just became close, but I mean it," he told her, embarrassed at his outburst.

"Oh, thanks," she said, a disappointed smile on her face. He wasn't sure what made him do it, perhaps her disappointment, perhaps just the way the light was reflected in her lip gloss, but he was pinning her to the bed long before either of them realised it, sharing a soft and gentle, but passionate kiss. It deepened slightly, their lips parting and tongues meeting somewhere in the middle.

After a minute or two they broke apart, he leaned over her, brushing her hair behind her ear before sitting up again.

"When I say 'I love you as a friend', what I really mean is, 'I love you as a friend but there are some complicated feelings I know I shouldn't have'," he explained when she gave him a questioning look, "Sorry about this kiss, I shouldn't have done that"

"I kissed back Finn, I can't pretend I didn't want it too…" he looked at her with his eyebrows raised, "Well I love you as a friend too, but I certainly understand the complicated feelings, you make me feel important, loved…" she sighed, "So does Santana, don't get me wrong, but there are also times when she doesn't, probably times when I don't make her feel like that either. This is really fucked up isn't it?"

"You can say that again,"

"I don't want to cheat on Santana," she said after a moments silence, "And you don't want to cheat on Rachel, and I know neither of us want to be the 'Other person'," she said, taking his hands, "Lets be honest with each other about how we feel, but not do anything about it, we got that kiss out of the way, hopefully that should get it out of our system"

"Deal, and while we're being honest, your lip-gloss tastes delicious," he said with his usual goofy grin, she slapped him playfully and started giggling.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I know this Chapter is kinda short, forgive me, it's a set up for a few things I have planned for later chapters. I'll get the next one up soon.**


	6. Part Six

**A/N: Hey guys, really sorry this chapter is up so late compared to my other ones. I thought it had been less time since I updated, so yeah, sorry.**

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><p>Part Six<p>

School the next day was agony and it wasn't just the usual end of vacation dullness, everywhere he went Finn seemed to see Santana or Rachel or Quinn or Brittany. Seeing Brittany wasn't so bad, it usually gave a small boost to his mood. The problem was he only ever seem to see her when Rachel was there, as soon as she noticed Brittany, she would find some excuse to drag Finn as far away from her as possible, thanks to his little comment after their argument the other day, he had completely failed in convincing Rachel that Brittany was nothing more than a friend.

He sat in glee club with Rachel at his side acting very territorial, when Brittany walked in looking miserable. She barely seemed to notice anybody and against his better judgements he got out of his seat and walked over to her.

"Hey, Brittany," he said, trying to sound cheerful.

"Hi, Finn," she said, seemingly oblivious to Rachel moving towards them, she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a hug, sighing into his chest.

"What's wrong, Brit?" he asked when she turned her head up to look at him.

"Long day, I just want to go home," she told him, sighing again. He looked up and saw the faces of the other members of new directions staring at them, confused, all except for Sam, Rory and Kurt – who already knew of their newfound close friendship, Rachel – who was glaring slightly at the blonde, Santana and Puck – who were late, and Quinn. She looked at them both with a mixture of understanding and sadness. He wasn't sure how she did it but Quinn always had a way of, every now and then, just making him forget that anybody else existed; she became the only thing in his life with meaning. This almost became one of those times before Rachel interrupted his thoughts by clearing her throat.

"Hi, Brittany," she said coldly,

Brittany turned to her and gave a nod of acknowledgement before letting go of Finn and walking to a chair looking thoroughly hurt at Rachels obvious anger.

Rachel dragged Finn to the other side of the room and they sat down together in silence, Finn watched Santana enter and the guilt he had been suppressing lately manifested itself quickly, today was the first time he had seen her since his and Brittany's drunken betrayal and every time he did he felt like he was fucking Brittany all over again right there and then.

"Alright, everyone, welcome back!" Mr Schue said cheerfully, as he entered the room. "I thought we'd start today off with a song, anyone got anything they're wanting to perform?" the room was quite as for once nobody seemed even vaguely interested, Finn glanced sideways at Rachel wondering why she didn't jump at the opportunity but what he saw on her phone stopped him caring.

_- Thanks Jesse xoxoxoxoxox Rachel._

She pressed send and Finn found himself on his feet, he didn't care what she was grateful for. It didn't even matter anymore.

"I'll sing, Mr Schue," he said, sounding more confident than he actually was. The guilt he had been feeling just moments earlier evaporated and was replaced by nothing but rage and jealousy, "I wrote it myself, it's kind of a work in progress." He told everyone, grinning "It's got no music or anything, but it's pretty relevant to my life right now, so what the hell,"

He began to stare at Rachel, making sure she and everyone else knew whom the song was directed to, his grin fading and he began to sing.

"Don't pretend I mean anything to you,

Don't pretend that you love me,

'Cause I know that you're thinking of him,

While you're in bed with me,"

Rachel stared at him, her mouth slightly open in disbelief and disgust but he couldn't even care that he was being cruel.

"I see his face reflected in your eyes,

Every time I see you smile,

I see his name on the tip of your tongue,

Before you stop yourself and call out mine…"

"Stop!" Rachel walked up to him, anger flashing behind the tears in her eyes.

"Problem, sweetie?" he asked her with an insincere and sarcastic smile, unable to restrain himself from being a dick due to the fury at her text and the emotions the song had unleashed.

"That's not fair, Finn, you cant sing me a song like that when you love someone else too, you're being a total hypocrite," she told him through gritted teeth, apparently finding it difficult to restrain herself as well. He looked over her head at the other people in the room and noticed a few raised eyebrows.

"You know what, Rachel, I think it's perfectly fucking fair, at least I never told the other person I was in love with her! At least the other girl never said she was in love with me too!" he subtly side eyed Quinn, unable to help himself and saw her staring at the floor, "and I never fucking promised to run off with her either!"

He heard Mr Schuester warning him about the swearing but he ignored it. Over Rachel's head he saw a few open mouths and Brittany caught his eye giving him a sympathetic look.

"Don't you fucking dare!" she shouted, "You have no right to be so morally superior after I caught you in bed with somebody else!"

"Nothing happened!" Brittany only realised she had spoken when she saw that everyone in the room had now turned to stare at her, she wasn't even sure how the words had escaped her, just spewing from her mouth like a reflex. She looked everywhere she could but to her left, she couldn't bare to see Santana's face. They had barely spoken to each other since the argument the other day and she could tell Santana was still angry at her, "nothing happened…" she repeated softly, unable to properly use her voice.

"You were in bed with him?" the words came from her left but she still refused to face her, "Look at me Brit!"

She turned to face her as instructed but instead of the anger she expected Santana just seemed hollow, her eyes glassy like she wasn't even there.

"_Him… _Of all the people we know, you picked _him…"_

"It's not what you think San, we weren't in bed together, well we were, well actually we weren't, we were on top of the sheets so that's on, not in, right?" she rambled on, desperately trying to explain herself while her lips were still moving faster than her brain. But no matter how hard she tried she didn't know what to say, all she could do was look to Finn.

"Santana, all that happened was she was at mine, we were both upset, she fell asleep, I fell asleep, then Rachel found us. Simple." Santana stared back at him seemingly emotionless.

"Not simple, Finn," Rachel interjected, "she was wrapped up in your arms, that's hardly simple!"

"I told you! She was upset, I gave her a hug, we fell asleep like that, that was it!" he turned back to Santana, "You two had an argument before the party remember? She was upset that you were mad at her, I was just looking after her, I promise… She was looking after me too,"

"You know what," Santana stood up and walked over towards Finn, he could see the fire in her eyes, "fuck you, porpoise!" she said to him and then she turned back to Brittany.

"Santana…" From the insult Santana gave Finn, Brittany immediately knew how angry she was, it was rare that she would ever be too emotional to be able to come up with a creative insult.

"Save it." Santana stared at her, her face plastered with rage she had never even been close to directing at Brittany. "Fuck you!" she shouted, causing Brittany to burst into tears and try to move towards her. Santana started walking backwards towards the door, once she reached it she spun on the spot and began to speak softly without looking back into the room, "we're not done Brittany, not yet, but right now, I cant speak to you, or look at you, just… Just leave me alone…"

Brittany stared at the open doorway, her legs frozen in place. 'Move,' she told herself, 'move! Move! Move!' she felt her legs begin to wobble and as soon as she was able to, she bolted for the other door and ran as far away from Santana as she could get.

"Brittany!" Finn called after her, he took a step towards to door to follow her but Rachel stepped in front of him determined to finish their argument.

"I think we'll end it there for today," Mr Schue said saving Finn, he was grateful, he grabbed his bag and got to his car as quickly as possible, he just needed to be alone.


	7. Part Seven

Part Seven

He dabbed the wet cloth to her arm again before rinsing it out in the now pink water in the sink.

"I can't keep doing this, you know?" Finn told Brittany.

"I know," she told him, wincing as the cold water washed over the fresh wounds. It had been two days since the argument in the choir room and both Rachel and Santana had refused to speak to either of them. In that time the cuts on her arm had doubled since the last time Finn had seen them.

"There, all done," he said after placing a light kiss on her forearm, she smiled slightly.

"Thank you, Finn," she whispered before giving him a long appreciative hug. "It's San and Rachel, every time I remember they aren't speaking to me… It just makes me forget, and forgetting is easier,"

He held her close unsure of what to say. He resorted to placing a kiss on the top of her head, willing her to get the message. She broke the hug and gave him a weak smile.

"I need to go home now, just…" she paused to place a kiss on his cheek, "Just thank you, I love you, Finn,"

"I love you too," He told her, his voice cracking slightly, it killed him to see her like this, he knew it was partly his fault, 'stupid drunk bastard, taking advantage of an innocent drunk girl,' the voice in his head had been telling him a lot of similar things recently. Even if it wasn't his fault, however, it would still be killing him, he hated seeing someone so close to him (especially someone who used to seem so happy) looking so vulnerable, fragile didn't even do her justice, she was past fragile, she just seemed broken.

He walked her to the door and they said their goodbyes. He stood in the doorway after she had gone, he was worried and he knew he needed to do something but he had no idea what. He needed someone clever, someone who cared about Brittany and someone who could keep a secret. He needed Quinn.

* * *

><p>As he arrived at Quinn's house he saw her mom walking towards her car.<p>

"Hello Ms Fabray," he called as he walked up the driveway,

"Oh hello, Finn," she replied, "Are you here to see Quinn?" he nodded, "she's out back, just go straight through the house, I'm sure she'll be happy to see you. I'm just going to the grocery store, I'll see you later," she told him before getting in the car and driving away.

He made his way through the house and found Quinn relaxing in the hot tub with her eyes closed. He knew it was kinda sleazy, but he couldn't help just standing and watching her, the tips of her hair were wet, dripping onto her shoulders, the water made her skin glisten in the porch light and her skin looked like it had been photoshopped. She wore a small red bikini that Finn found himself staring at as her chest heaved slowly with her breathing.

He was just about to say hello when she began to shift, she bit her lower lip and lifted her hand up to her chest, stroking lightly along her collarbone. Finn watched, holding his breath, as she ran the hand down her body, slowing down as it ran over her breast before sliding over her stomach, she hesitated as she reached the hem of her bikini bottoms before sliding her hand into them. Finns pants began to feel much tighter as he watched her, he wanted to make himself known but he felt almost as if he was in shock. Her breathing became heavier and a slight moan escaped her, finally shaking Finn out of his near hypnotism. He cleared his throat and her eyes shot open, as she quickly took her hand out of her bikini bottoms.

"Finn!" she shouted in surprise, her cheeks flushing scarlet.

"Err, hi Quinn…" he said, begin to blush himself.

"What are you…" her eyes drifted down to his crotch and she gave a nervous smile, both of them growing even redder. "You saw didn't you?"

"Yeah…" He replied his hand on the back of his neck, trying to avoid making eye contact.

"Oh my god, please don't tell anyone" she begged him, also trying to avoid eye contact.

"I wont…"

"I was just, stressed, and my mom went out, and I wanted to relax and well…"

"I just didn't realise you did that, I thought you were kinda like, you know, pure… innocent."

"Finn, I've only had three boyfriends, but I cheated on two of them and I got pregnant at 15, am I really that innocent?"

"I guess not," He stood there in silence for a while before mustering up the courage to look at her, "Sorry,"

"What for?"

"For standing there and watching you… That was really sleazy, I should have said something straight away, but the bikini, and the water and well… yeah, sorry,"

"It's ok, Finn" she said, smiling slightly, but still blushing. "Since you're here, why don't you join me?" she asked trying to be cheerful.

"I would, but I don't have any shorts to wear or anything, and well, I kinda have a thing about hot tubs, you know, cause of Drizzle and all,"

"Beth"

"What?"

"She's called Beth,"

"I know," he told her, confused.

"You called her Drizzle,"

"Did I?" He asked, his eyebrows raising slightly, "Sorry, old habits die slow or something like that."

"It's ok," she gave him a reassuring smile before getting out of the hot tub and wrapping herself in a towel. "So how come you're here?"

"It's about Brittany," he told her, her face fell and she began to walk towards the house, "what's wrong?" he asked her.

"She's the other girl that you're in love with isn't she? That's why you were in bed with her, wasn't it? Sam told me you had been hanging out with her more, that's why isn't it? And you want me to help you figure out your feelings or something, right?" she asked him, she sounded bored or weary, but Finn detected a hint of urgency in her voice. She turned to face him but avoided his gaze, staring at the floor instead.

"No, that's not it, she's not the other girl" She looked at him, slightly surprised, "It's something else, I'm worried about her,"

"Why? What's wrong?"

"First you got to promise not to tell anyone about this, including her,"

"I promise," she said, taking his hand, beginning to look worried as well.

"Well, the other day…" He began explain about how he caught the red on Brittany's sleeve and how he had been helping her clean her arm. He told Quinn about how Brittany had refused to give it up, claiming she needed to do it. "I just don't know what to do…" he finished, giving a frustrated sigh.

Quinn stayed silent, considering everything Finn had just told her before eventually speaking up, "What exactly do you want me to do?" she asked him, sounding supportive.

"I don't know, I just knew you could keep a secret. Plus, you love Brittany just as much as me and you're the smartest person I know, I'm not good enough to deal with this, she needs better than me," He looked away from her, watching the clouds move across the dark sky, "we both do, we need you."

"I don't know what to do Finn, but I promise I'll try, all we can do for her right now is be there, and just cross our fingers it doesn't get worse"

"Thanks Quinn," He gave her a quick hug and then checked the time, "I should probably get going, my mom will have dinner ready soon,"

"Oh, okay, goodbye Finn," he began to walk away, around the outside of her house before impulse took over, "Wait Quinn, I need to say something first."

"Yeah?" she asked him, walking towards him.

"It's you,"

"What is?"

"The other girl, the one that I'm in love with…"

"Oh…" she stood in silence avoiding his gaze, making Finn begin to worry before she finally looked up, straight into his eyes. "Do you mean it? Because when Rachel first said it, I hoped it was me, but then you told her you never told the other girl you loved her, and that the other girl didn't love you, and I thought that meant it couldn't be me, because you told me you loved me at the party, remember?"

"I know, but I didn't think it counted, you didn't take me seriously, I was drunk… plus, you don't love me, so the second part was definitely true"

"I do love you Finn, I even told you when you told me, maybe you don't remember, I know I shot you down but its cause I thought you didn't love me, I know I told you I loved you because I love you, so, so much" She began to cry and she only managed to breath the last few words.

"Quinn…" he began, but he was cut off as her lips met his, he kissed back with everything he had, once again, she was the only thing in the world, nothing mattered, nothing existed, there was only Quinn. She pulled away quickly leaving him desperate for more and his heart breaking slightly…

"I owed you a mistletoe kiss…" she explained, "I love you, Finn, but that was it, I cant put myself through this again, I'm not a man stealer like Rachel and I don't want to just sit here waiting for you to make your mind up and then spend the rest of my life with you worrying if it will change again. That was probably the last kiss we will ever have Finn, I'm sorry," she ran into the house crying, leaving him standing there, a cocktail of emotions brewing up inside him. It took him nearly 5 minutes to actually be able to form a coherent thought and it was a simple one, no matter what happens, no matter how he felt about Rachel or Brittany, or anyone else for that matter, there was one thing he knew; he was determined that that was not going to be their last kiss.


	8. Part Eight

Part Eight

School the next day was lonely, Brittany wasn't in and with Santana and Rachel ignoring him and Quinn now avoiding him, he felt like he had no one to talk to. He could hang out with the guys but it just felt weird, he never realised how important the girls in his life actually were to him.

On the drive home he decided to call Brittany to make sure she was ok but her phone went straight to voicemail. 'I'll check on her again later' he thought, knowing she probably just wanted to be alone if her phone was switched off.

He drove passed Rachel's house and decided he was going to fix things, he pulled into her drive and realised there was no car there, her and her dads were out.

He was just about to leave before he saw her in the window on the phone, and he could guess who was on the other line. He burst into the house and she ran into the hallway from the living room and visibly relaxed when she saw who it was.

"It's okay, Jesse, it was just Finn barging into my house, what were you saying?" she walked upstairs ignoring Finn and he followed her closely.

"Rachel, we need to talk," he told her.

"I'm on the phone!" she glared at him before returning to her conversation, "I know he's so rude isn't he?"

"This is important Rachel!"

"I honestly don't care what you have to say to me," she walked towards her bedroom, "I'm sorry Jesse, he just won't stop interrupting."

"Will you get off the fucking phone and talk to me!" he shouted at her, "You're acting like a total bitch! I'm supposed to be your boyfriend so stop fucking ignoring me!"

"Oh right, yeah, you _are_ supposed to be my boyfriend. I just didn't see any point in remembering that, since _you_ seem to have trouble remembering it yourself!"

"You're not helping the bitch part…"

"Hold on a second Jesse, this will only take a minute or two don't hang up," she put the phone down, leaving the phone call open, before turning to Finn, "Get out of my house, I don't want to see you right now, just leave me the fuck alone,"

"No!" he replied, glaring back at her, "I came here wanting to fix us and even though I'm really fucking pissed off right now, I'm not leaving until I do!"

"Why? Why the hell can't you just do what normal people do and leave when they're not wanted?"

"Because you're my girlfriend! And if I don't fix this you're going to run right back to Jesses arms, or probably his bed."

"Fuck you, Finn!" she picked up the phone again turning away from Finn and beginning to walk towards her bedroom again. "Sorry about that, Jesse."

He grabbed the phone off her and hung up before throwing it across the room.

* * *

><p>She checked her phone for the twelfth time before remembering she had switched it off. She couldn't bare going to school to face Santana again so she had spent all day in her bedroom just staring at the wall, she tried to shut her brain off but every 5 minutes she imagined a different scenario of what would happen when Santana found out about Finn.<p>

She stood up and walked towards the mirror she had bought to replace the broken one and examined herself. She looked ill, bags under her eyes from not enough sleep, pale skin from staying indoors all the time and she could barely stand, lack of sleep, food and possibly blood made her legs wobble and threaten to collapse underneath her.

She was about to walk away before she saw her iPod dock and realised exactly how to make herself stop thinking. She pressed shuffle and was about to start dancing before she realised which song it was and when she had last heard it.

* * *

><p><em>They entered is room, closing the door softly behind them, Brittany put on some music and turned it down to make sure they wouldn't be heard.<em>

_Finn walked over to her and pulled her close, her back against his chest, and began kissing her neck. She spun round and pushed him backwards, pinning him to the wall, and placed a soft kiss on his lips before kissing him again, much more forcefully._

* * *

><p>She shook the memories from her head and put a playlist on that she knew wouldn't have the song in. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and began to dance.<p>

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><p><strong>AN: I know this is really, really short compared to my other chapters but it's just a set up to the next one which will be up later today or tomorrow, promise.**


	9. Part Nine

**A/N: So erm, yeah, this is the main reason this story is rated M. What else can I say? :P**

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><p>Part Nine<p>

"You're such an asshole!" she said slapping him before grabbing his neck and pulling him into a deep kiss. She shoved him backwards and stormed into her bedroom. "Are we gunna do this or what?" she called to him.

"Do what?" he asked, angry and confused as he followed her into the bedroom.

"I want you" she said shoving his back to the wall, "Now"

"I thought you were pissed at me?"

"Angry sex is better than angry fighting,"

"Who says I even want you anymore?"

"Who really cares if you do? If you don't take the chance now and we're not together in the morning, you're not getting laid for a very long time…"

A mixture of extreme guilt and satisfaction welled up inside of him as he thought about just how wrong she was. But she had a point; he might as well make the most of whatever time they had left.

"Fine." He stepped forwards from the wall and began pushing her backwards towards the bed. "But I still think you're a bitch," he told her, unzipping her dress, "and there's one condition."

"What's that?" she asked him unbuttoning his jeans and putting her hand into his boxer shorts.

"Don't you fucking dare think about _him_," he told her, putting as much anger into the final syllable as possible.

"Fine, but you don't fucking think about Quinn either, deal?"

"I can promise that," he told her smirking, images of Brittany flashing through his mind instead. He pressed his lips to hers, kissing forcefully and holding her tight to him.

* * *

><p><em>He ripped her dress off, eager to reveal as much skin as he possibly could, she grinned seductively before pinning him to the bed, straddling his lap and beginning to grind her crotch against his.<em>

_ "Wow," he whispered, mesmerised by Brittany's movements. She swayed and rubbed herself against him gracefully to the rhythm of the music, slowly at first but gradually faster, as if she was dancing on top of him. _

* * *

><p>She danced until her muscles began to ache, allowing the rhythm of the music to envelop her, all her thoughts banished from her mind. Nothing else was left in the world, only the music and her body. It moved instinctively, as if she was just a puppet on a string.<p>

She closed her eyes even tighter, unable to focus, her body becoming tired and weak. Even the music disappeared from her consciousness until all she was aware of was falling, falling into darkness, then a pair of arms, thin and slender but secure, enveloping her until she faded into nothingness.

She awoke, energy drained from her, to a pair of deep brown eyes gazing into hers.

"Santana, what are you doing here?"

"I missed you," tears were forming in both of their eyes. Brittany sat up and felt dizzy; she reached for her bottle of water and drank the entire two litres without taking a breath. She sat staring into the mirror for what felt like hours, Santana watching her carefully. Eventually her strength returned to her, at least enough to be able to focus, anyway. She turned to face Santana, unsure of what to say but Santana spoke first, "I saw you dance, it was… Beautiful, well, I saw some of it, it was only a few minutes of it and then you just kind of swayed on the spot with your eyes closed. I'll admit it was sort of weird, then you just like, collapsed, I only just caught you"

"Oh," She didn't really know what else to say to her so she just sat in silence; eventually a thought occurred to her, "What time is it?"

Santana pulled out her phone and checked the time, "It's about five past six," she told her, standing up and walking over to the bed. She kicked off her shoes and sat down, staring at Brittany intently.

"Really?" she asked surprised, "How long have you been here for?"

"About ten minutes, I let myself in,"

"Oh," 'ten minutes?' if it was only five past six that meant she had only been dancing for about half an hour, it felt like an eternity.

"Listen Brit," Santana started, hesitating while trying to find her words, Brittany didn't want to hear it though, for some reason there was only one thing she wanted to do and that was the only thing she was going to do.

"Shut up, don't talk," she said, standing up.

"What?" Santana looked offended but Brittany ignored her. She pulled off her t-shirt, revealing her bare chest and walked towards Santana, whose mouth was suddenly half open as if she had never seen Brittany like this before.

"Don't talk, let's fuck," she said before straddling Santana, pushing her backwards onto the bed and placing a soft kiss on her lips. She sat upright and pulled off Santana's top, throwing it to the floor.

* * *

><p><em>She ran her hands down his now bare chest and began following the trail her fingers left with tiny kisses, she reached his pants and grabbed his crotch, making him gasp.<em>

_ "Oh fuck!" he breathed and she giggled._

_ "This is going to be fun," she told him with a wink, she began stroking his crotch through the fabric, teasing him and biting her bottom lip. This drove him crazy and his patience evaporated, he sat up and in one swift movement, wrapped an arm around her, lifting her into the air before spinning them around and falling back to the bed, him now on top of her. He began to plant kisses along her jaw and down her neck, then down her chest leaving a trail of kisses between her breasts, continuing down to her belly button._

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><p>Rachel let out an audible gasp as his kisses reached the hem of her underwear, she placed a hand on his head and he knew she was willing him to go further. 'Not yet,' he thought, relishing the torment the waiting put her through, he kissed back up her, following the path he left on the way down. His lips found hers again and as their tongues met he felt her nails digging into his shoulder blades, pleasure shooting through him.<p>

He rolled them both over so she was on top of him; he found the clasp of her bra and undid it. She pulled it off without hesitation, throwing it to the other side of the room. His lips found her nipple, and she began to run her hands through his hair, pressing him closer to her chest.

* * *

><p><em>She moaned as he bit lightly on her nipple, and he looked up at her with a mischievous smirk on his face.<em>

_ "Oh you want to play it like that?" she said, with faux anger. He grinned again and she pulled him into a deep kiss, biting his lip as he started to pull away. His hand slid down her stomach until it found the hem of her underwear, he stalled and she looked at him pleadingly, he began to run the tip of his finger back and forth along the hem. She arched upwards, her body begging for satisfaction but he continued to tease her. "Please!" she half moaned, and a wide grin formed on his face, he began to run his hand back upwards, over her stomach, but Brittany was too impatient. She grabbed his hand and forced it into her underwear._

_ He felt the warmth radiating from her, and relented to show her mercy. He slid one finger inside of her, slowly pumping, he then added a second and began to speed up, curling his fingers slightly as he began to pull backwards after each thrust._

* * *

><p>She began to moan loudly and Santana started to tug at her underwear, Brittany arched her back slightly to allow them to be removed. Santana began to kiss her stomach slowly inching downwards; Brittany placed a hand on the top of her head and forced her downwards. Santana took the hint and without hesitation her fingers and her tongue began working in unison. She put her other hand onto Brittany's stomach, holding her body to the bed. Santana was so well practised it took less than a minute for Brittany to begin quaking and pleasure rocked her entire body as she climaxed.<p>

Santana looked up at her grinning and Brittany placed a hand under her chin pulling her upwards into another kiss.

* * *

><p><em>She rolled him back over onto his back and started making a new trail of kisses down his chest.<em>

_ "It's your turn now," She told him, winking again. She reached her hand into his shorts and a gasp escaped his lips, she gripped it tightly and pulled it out of his shorts. She grinned at him and began stroking it slowly, building up the tension. He was so hard that she could feel his pulse in her hand and she became even more turned on. She began to kiss slowly up his shaft and then licked the tip lightly before taking it into her mouth._

_ He closed his eyes and felt her lips moving up and down, she moved her free hand to his and wound their fingers together. She started to speed up her tongue still gently licking as she moved up and down the shaft._

_ "Stop," he half moaned as he began feel close to the peak._

_ "Was I doing it wrong?" she asked seeming slightly hurt._

_ "No, no, of course not, I was just getting really close,"_

_ "Oh" she grinned and he pulled her back towards him kissing her softly, feeling nothing but love._

* * *

><p>She pulled away from the kiss and moved downwards again, taking him in her mouth once more, this time more slowly. She stopped just as he began to feel close again and she began straddling him, kissing him forcefully.<p>

He wound his hand through her hair holding her closer. She pulled back and stared into his eyes.

"Tell me you love me," she commanded.

"I love you, Rachel," he said, willing her to believe him. He wasn't lying, but when he said it, when he looked at her, he felt nothing but the dangerous mix of anger and lust.

"Good," she said, before grabbing him and sliding down onto him. He let out a slight moan as he felt her around him and she started sliding up and down, biting at his neck.

* * *

><p><em>She moved away from his neck, sitting up and then rocked back and forth, looking like she was dancing again. He ran his hands over her breasts as she began to moan, the volume increasing quickly, he pulled her down into a kiss to silence her and then rolled them over so he was on top. <em>

_ "Try keep it down, someone will hear," he told her, smirking as she began to blush. She wrapped her legs around his torso as he began to thrust into her, taking control. He slowed down, moving backwards so that he almost pulled out and then thrust into her powerfully causing her to bite down hard on his shoulder, trying to supress a loud moan without much success._

* * *

><p>Santana smirked at Brittany being unable to hold back and began grinding against her even harder. Their lips met again and Brittany felt her jaw begin to ache from kissing so passionately.<p>

She felt Santana's body quake as she climaxed again moaning loudly into Brittany's mouth.

"I love you," Brittany said as Santana pulled back from the kiss to take a breath.

* * *

><p><em>"I love you, too" he told her, and began thrusting harder. He felt Brittany tense and a moan began to escape her mouth but he silenced it with another kiss. She dug her nails into him scratching down his back as she came, almost sending Finn over the edge. He continued to thrust into her as she came down from her high before finally erupting himself.<em>

_ They lay in silence, recovering while Finn stroked Brittany's hair. They both began to tire and drifted to sleep, cradled in each other's arms._

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><p><strong>AN: The way I originally wrote this, it was a little hard to follow but I did edited it a bit to try and make it more obvious just in case, but sorry if you got a bit lost. Thanks for reading, next chapter in a couple of days.**


	10. Part Ten

**A/N: I had a bit of trouble with this chapter which is why it took longer than usual to get up, still not completely happy with it but I didn't want to wait too long to upload.**

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><p>Part Ten<p>

Brittany awoke in Santana's arms; her face nestled against Santana's bare chest. She could barely remember the previous night and her thoughts seemed to take a long time to come to her. She lay there content revelling in the smell of her girlfriend until she began to shift underneath her.

"Morning," Santana said, shaking loose Brittany's memories, she tensed before sitting up, covering herself with the sheets.

"Morning," she replied, feeling somewhat awkward.

"About last night…" Santana started.

"Please don't say it…" Brittany pleaded.

"Say what? I just wanted to say it was amazing, what's wrong?"

"I thought you were going to tell me it was the last time or something," Brittany turned her head away in an attempt to hide the tears now threatening to fall down her face.

"Why the hell would it be the last time?" Santana asked confused.

"Because you didn't speak to me for three days and then when you did I told you to shut up and fucked you instead. We barely even spoke last night so it's practically four days,"

"I love you Brits, we had an argument, but it was just one. And I get it, I know what sex is to you, I know it's important, I know its how you say 'I love you' when the words aren't enough, at least when you're with me anyway" Santana pulled Brittany back towards her but she resisted.

"What's wrong?

"It wont go away, not in one night. You were really mad at me, and we still haven't talked about your eating thing. We can't solve this just with some make up sex Santana!" she turned to look at her but Santana looked like she was just ignoring her.

"What's that, Brittany?" She followed Santana's line of vision, and she felt her stomach clench as she saw the cuts on her arm, brown and crusty with scabs.

"San…"

"I never saw it last night… They… you did that?" Brittany nodded. She braced herself for the anger she thought Santana was about to unleash but it never came. Instead she threw herself at Brittany, wrapping her arms and legs around her torso and stroking her hair. Brittany relaxed into Santana's warm body and let the tears fall, they held each other tightly, Santana whispering comforting words into her ear.

Eventually they broke apart and Santana began to get dressed as Brittany watched.

"Promise me you'll stop"

"I can't, I'll try, but it's hard… But only if you fix your eating," Santana stared at Brittany for a moment seeming to consider.

"We'll work together, ok?"

"Ok," She stood up and pulled Santana into a quick hug before giving her a light kiss and getting dressed herself.

* * *

><p>"Finn! Get up or we'll be late for school!"<p>

"I don't want to go to school, I'm ill"

"Shut up, get up," He heard Rachel walk out of the room and decided to go back to sleep, but just as he began to drift off he felt a horrible icy wetness running down his back.

"Holy crap! What is that?" He yelled, sitting up in bed.

"Oh my god, man up, Finn! It was only water," She leant forward and placed a kiss on his forehead, "Now get up or I'll do it again."

He got up and began to get dressed, as he did his thoughts strayed to last night.

"Are you still angry at me?" he asked

"No, I'm still kind of upset about everything, it still hurts, but I think I kinda worked the anger out of my system," she told him, unsuccessfully holding back a smirk when she got to the end of her sentence.

"Yeah, I think I did too," they continued to get ready in silence.

"We need to try harder," she said eventually, "we need to be able to trust each other, we need to talk about things instead of just getting angry."

"Yeah…" his guilt resurfaced when she mentioned trust, he knew he didn't deserve it, so far he had had sex with someone else, and even if she forgave him because he was drunk he had still kissed two other girls in the past week. At least one of them he was in love with, possibly both. 'You don't deserve her, Finn. You never deserved Quinn and now you don't deserve Rachel either. Don't even think of trying it with Brittany either, you definitely don't deserve her and Santana is supposed to be your friend'

"Finn…"

"Yeah?"

"You were pulling a weird face and just sat staring at the wall, are you ok?" she looked at him seeming slightly worried.

"Oh, right, I was kinda talking to myself in my head, but yeah, lets try be happy with each other, think positive right?"

* * *

><p>He patrolled the halls trying to find her but she seemed like she had disappeared, maybe he was right that she was avoiding him. About 5 minutes before class started, he caught a glimpse of her turning a corner. He began to jog after her hoping to catch her and as he turned the corner he almost ran straight into her.<p>

"Hello, Finn. You know this isn't football practice; you don't need to tackle me. Anyway I'm late for class, bye" She walked away without looking at him once.

"Quinn wait! We still have 5 minutes until class starts, I need to talk to you,"

"What is it, Finn?" she asked wearily, still avoiding looking at him.

"Stop avoiding me, I know it's been awkward since, well you know. But I'm really starting to miss you when you just ignore me like this,"

"Well it's hard for me okay? I just want to pretend none of it happened and move on."

"What about Brittany?"

"Brittany?"

"You promised to help, she's getting worse. She didn't show up to school yesterday, I haven't seen her today; her phone was off last night… At first I thought she just wanted to be alone but now I'm starting to worry," he lowered his voice so only she could hear, "I know it's weird, me loving you, you loving me, but not being together, it feels wrong, but we can put that aside, at least for now. For Brittany,"

"You're right," she sighed, "but is there anyway we can help her without spending time together? Whenever I look at you it reminds me of losing you," she finally looked at him, and his heart broke all over again at the sadness in her eyes.

"I know," he told her, trying to sound comforting "I didn't lose you Quinn, I was a jerk and an idiot and well I still don't know if I made the right decision, but I still remember the other things I lost whenever I see you," she looked puzzled at his last statement and began to open her mouth but he continued on, "We'll text instead, is that ok? Then you don't have to look at me and we can still help Brit,"

"Deal," she said, giving a weak smile, "Bye, Finn, text you later. If you see Brittany, let me know."

Finn sat in class, continually checking his phone, he knew it was stupid, she probably wouldn't text until after school but he still felt anxious about it. The lesson began and a couple of minutes in his phone vibrated in his pocket. His heart raced as he checked the text, desperate to hear from her but he was surprised to see Brittany's name on his screen.

_- Finn, Im late. B x_

_- Class has only just started, just run and you wont get in trouble. Finn._

_- Thats not wot I ment, Im late… I was supposed 2 get my period a few days ago. Im late._


	11. Part Eleven

Part Eleven

_- where are you? Finn._

_- Parking lot. B x_

He picked up his bag and headed for the door.

"Where do you think you're going Finn?" he heard the teacher ask but he ignored her. He found the parking lot and saw Brittany by his car, when she saw him tears began to fall rapidly down her face. He ran towards her and pulled her into a tight hug.

* * *

><p>"<em>Quinn!" he called to her but she ignored him.<em>

"_Quinn" He called again, "what's with the silent treatment?" he asked walking towards her. "Whatever I did I'm sorry," he told her, the last few words barely making it out as he registered the look on her face._

"_I'm pregnant…" she told him as a tear ran down her cheek._

_The whole world slowed down and her voice faded out as he tried to make sense of her words. Images of weddings and filming their little baby learning to walk, mixing together with images of angry parents, unpaid bills and the two of them overworked and arguing flashed through his mind._

"_Mine?"_

"_Yes" she said nodding. "Who else's would it be?"_

"_But we…"_

"_Last month, Hot tub…"_

"_But we were wearing our swimsuits"_

"_Ask jeeves said a hot tub is the perfect temperature for sperm" she hesitated, "It helps it swim faster"_

"_Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god" A thought suddenly occurred to him, "are you gunna get a..?" she shook her head._

"_No" tears began to quickly run down her face, "I really thought I had a shot of getting out of here…" she said almost falling into his arms._

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><p>He shook the memory out of his head; he did not need to be thinking about Quinn right now, or Beth.<p>

"Come on, we'll go back to mine, we don't need to deal with school right now," he took her hand and helped her into the passenger seat before getting into the drivers seat himself. The first few minutes they spent in silence until Finn decided to switch the radio on.

…_My first love broke my heart for the first time_

_And I was like baby, baby, baby, oh_

_Like baby, baby, baby, no…_

Finn switched the radio off immediately.

"I used to like that song…" Brittany said, sounding disappointed, "But that just kind of killed it"

"You used to like that song? And I used to think you were cool" he said smiling slightly. She gave him a sad smile in return and the rest of the drive home was silent.

They arrived in Finns room and sat on the bed, still in silence.

_- hey Quinn, I've seen Brittany, we're at mine so we wont see you in school 2day. Shes fine. Well shes not fine, but shes not dead or anything. Finn x_

They continued to sit in silence for another 15 minutes before Finn finally decided to speak up.

"So are you sure you're pregnant?"

"No,"

"Well- wait, did you say no?"

"I'm not doing a test, I refuse to do a test." She looked at him pleadingly; "I want to put it off as long as possible… please"

"Ok," he said, grabbing her hand and squeezing it reassuringly, she shifted slightly and lay down with her head in his lap. He began to stroke her hair and she visibly relaxed. "So what do we do if, you know…"

"I'm sorry Finn, but if I am, I think I'm keeping it… I just cant, I just cant have an abortion, it's not that I'm against it. I just think I'd be scared, and I think I'd regret it."

"It's okay, Brits, I promise whatever happens, I'll support you,"

"You're such a cliché sometimes Finn, but thank you…" She turned onto her back and smiled at him, "I learned that word the other day, I didn't think I'd get to use it so soon," her smile faded quickly as her thoughts returned to their current situation.

"If we have a baby… what would happen to us?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we should raise it together, obviously, but should we do it _together_ together?"

"You're not making any sense…"

"I mean should you be my girlfriend… and speaking of that, what do we say to Santana and Rachel?" Brittany's heart broke at his words, she hadn't thought of Santana or Rachel, or the future for that matter, she had barely thought about it at all.

"I don't know Finn… Do you think- do you think they'll forgive us?"

"I hope so… But what if they don't?" He shifted on the bed so he could lie down and pulled Brittany into his arms, her head resting on his chest.

"I don't know, do you think we'd work together?"

"Don't take this the wrong way Brit, but I don't want to need to find out. I think we would, but I just don't want to know,"

"Me neither…"

"If we had to though, we could make it work. I mean, you're my best friend, we work together as friends don't we?"

"Yeah"

"If I'm honest, I think I might be in love with you…"

"You're… you're what?" she asked, her eyes wide in shock.

"I don't know, it's confusing, you, Quinn, Rachel. I don't know who I'm supposed to love anymore… everything is all twisted and fucked up"

They lay there in silence both staring at the ceiling.

"What are we going to do?" Brittany asked eventually.

"I don't know," he told her.


	12. Part Twelve

Part Twelve

Finn woke up on Sunday morning after a nightmare, Brittany had the baby, but she stayed with Santana and he was never allowed to see Brittany or his son. Rachel broke up with him when she found out and left for New York, and Quinn told him she wanted to be with him and then changed her mind when she found out about the baby and left for Yale.

_- Finn, need 2 talk 2 u in person. B x_

_- Be at yours in 10. Finn _

"Oh, crap…" He had been dreading this for two days now, 'Man up Hudson, you were ready for this in sophomore year, you damn well better be ready for it now.' He pulled on his jacket and half ran to the car. The drive there seemed to take forever, the faster he drove the slower he felt like he was going.

He knocked on the door when he arrived and was greeted by her mom.

"Hi, can I see Brittany,"

"Sure Finn, just go straight up, she's in her room,"

He climbed the stairs and knocked on the door before entering, she was sitting on her bed, and stood up when she saw him enter.

"Hey…" he said.

"Hey…" she replied

"Listen," he took a deep breath before continuing, "before you say anything I just want to say that I promise I'm going to be there for you, it doesn't matter what Rachel or Santana says I'm going to be there, I have my job at Burt's shop, I can save up money, Burt and my Mom would help, even Kurt would, we just probably shouldn't ask him to buy our baby clothes, I love you Brittany…" he walked towards her and looked into her eyes, "You're my best friend, maybe we wont ever be more than that, but we're freaking awesome, friends can raise a baby together. Look, I even wrote down some stuff I remembered from when Quinn was pregnant, I can-"

"Finn, stop!" she took his hand, "It's okay, I'm _not_ pregnant… I got my- well I'm not pregnant, Finn."

"Oh…" something welled up in him that he didn't expect, disappointment. He felt hot and cold at the same time and tears built up in the corner of his eyes. He let go of Brittany's hand and turned around to try and hide the tears from her but she realised what he was doing.

"Finn… what's wrong? Did you…" she turned him around to look at her and his tears were already running down his cheeks, "Did you want to have a baby?" she asked him. He gave a non-committal shrug and looked away again. "Finn, we're not old enough to want to have-"

"Don't!" he interrupted, "I can take it from other people but not you, don't tell me what I should want… Everyone does it; like with football and glee club, everyone tells me I should be the glee guy. What If I don't want to be the glee guy? I love to sing, but I love football! I love being quarterback! I really wanted that scholarship! Everyone; Rachel, Mr Schue, everyone! They all tell me glee is where I belong. Nobody ever lets me make my own mind up!" he took a deep breath realising he was starting to scare Brittany slightly with his rant he had seemingly pulled out of nowhere.

"I'm sorry… I…" but she didn't know what to tell him, she hadn't seen him this upset since he found out Beth was pucks baby, then the pieces started to click together in her head before he even told her.

"And the baby… my baby… Beth. She was mine! Do you have any idea what that's like?" he began shouting again, not caring about the torrent of tears falling down his face, "I loved her! I still do! I love that little girl way more than I'm supposed to because she was supposed to be my little girl! That day Rachel told me about Puck, I lost the love of my life and my best friend, but more importantly it was like I lost my own fucking daughter!"

"Finn… I never realised… nobody did…"

"Yeah well, I didn't expect them too, it was obvious that I was going to be written off…" he calmed down slightly, "I guess maybe if we would have had this baby, it would have taken my mind off Beth, given me a baby I could have instead of one I can just imagine a life with…" he sighed and collapsed onto her bed, "I know, it's pathetic…"

"It's not pathetic," she told him, lying down next to him, "At least we don't have to worry about Santana and Rachel now,"

"Yeah," he said, his mood lightening slightly, "how about we watch a movie?"

* * *

><p>Brittany was in a good mood at school the next day, Santana even made a point of eating with her at lunch and she never had a chance to throw up. Finn had cheered up majorly since the day before and they spent their last class together drawing cartoon versions of everyone in new directions. They walked through the hallway laughing at how bad Finns drawings were on their way to glee club when she realised whom they were walking behind.<p>

"I got a text from Shelby last night," he told her, "Beth has been drawing a lot apparently, mostly cats, at least Shelby thinks they're cats, she's not too sure," Quinn laughed a little, "she's so much like you," he finished.

"When have you ever known me to draw cats?" she asked him, smirking slightly.

"No, not the drawing, she just looks a lot like you, and she reads a lot, for a toddler at least. Well, Shelby reads to her while Beth looks at the page, but she's your baby, so she probably can understand it without Shelby reading…" he laughed lightly, "It's kinda weird, Beth takes after you so much and Berry takes after Shelby, I wonder if other adopted kids take after their birth mom or dad,"

Brittany turned to look at Finn, his face was blank and almost unreadable but she knew exactly what he was thinking, she grabbed his hand and squeezed it before letting go and hurrying forward to talk to Quinn.

"Hey Quinn, can I talk to you for a minute," she glanced at Puck, "In private,"

"Sure," Quinn said, looking concerned, Brittany took her hand and led her away from the two boys.

"Sorry, I just needed to end that conversation or Finn would probably explode or something," she said, glancing over towards him.

"Finn?" Quinn asked confused, turning round to look at him but only just catching a glimpse of his back as he hurried into the choir room, "why would Finn explode?"

"Oh, never mind, lets head to rehearsals," she said smiling innocently.

"Brittany, you know that look doesn't work on me, what's wrong with Finn?"

"I shouldn't say…" she said, but the look on Quinns face told her that if she didn't tell her now Quinn would be worrying about it until she heard it from Finn himself, she sighed, "Oh fine, I just don't think he likes hearing about Beth,"

"Is he still upset that I cheated on him?" Quinn asked, looking terrified.

"No, honey," she smiled sympathetically, "Don't let on, but he's kind of completely forgiven you for that, I think he's still upset about it sometimes, but something tells me he totally understands about how unfair it would be to hate you for being taken advantage of when you were drunk," she explained, guilt once again resurfacing as she remembered their indiscretion.

"Then what is it?"

"You really can't work it out?" she asked, Quinn shook her head "He loves her…"

"He loves my daughter?" she asked looking slightly alarmed.

"No, not like that, this isn't twilight or something, he doesn't want to marry her," she hesitated as she tried to think of a way to explain it, "To him, she's not just your daughter… or yours and Puck's, she was his remember?"

"Oh…" Quinn seemed to realise what Brittany was hinting at.

"Don't tell anyone, but he kind of cried about it yesterday, he really misses her, he like wishes she was his daughter and not Puck's. He really loved her when he thought she was his baby, did you really expect that to go away just because he found out he was wrong?"

"I can't believe I've been so stupid…" Quinn said her eyes watering, "He sang to the freaking sonogram! He sang to her sonogram and I never even thought… He kept quiet all this time?"

"What else could he do? 'Oh by the way Rachel, you know that baby your mother adopted? Well I wish she was my baby, hope you don't mind.' 'Oh Quinn, you know that baby you gave up for adoption because you knew you couldn't raise it at sixteen, you know the one, the one that isn't actually may baby, the one I have no parental rights over, yeah that one. Well I think you should have kept it and raised it with me.' It wouldn't exactly go down very well would it?" Quinn shook her head, biting her lower lip as her tears were on the verge of falling, Brittany pulled her in to hug, "Don't worry about it; just be careful around him, okay? You and Beth mean a lot more to him than you think."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: As I said before, I might not update for a while as i try and figure out how to continue/end this after the whole proposal thing and all that. I might just make this completely AU even though I normally don't like it. Anyway i apologize in advance for the lack of updates in the next week or two, i'll try to get at least 2 or 3 chapters out but hopefully I'll be inspired and manage to end this properly. Thanks for reading, love you all x**


	13. Part Thirteen

**A/N: Fuck it, I'm going AU, after the last episode I can't handle anymore Finchel, so lets all pretend yes/no didn't happen.**

* * *

><p>Part Thirteen<p>

He got out of the car and walked towards Rachel's front door. He had decided to surprise her and take her out to dinner. He knocked on the door, no answer. He knew she was home, he listened carefully and could hear music, and she just must not be able to hear. He tried the door and it opened, he smiled to himself. He climbed the stairs and walked towards her bedroom, checking his appearance in the reflection of a photo in the hallway.

He put his fist up to the door about to knock but as he did so he heard something from in the room, a muffled moan. His heart sank as he imagined the worst, the fear brewing inside him intensified tenfold. He pressed the door open and walked inside.

His eyes immediately focused on her closed ones, before moving downwards past her open panting mouth to her bare chest, glistening with perspiration in the candlelight. Then his gaze shifted to the Man lying on top of her, his hair damp with sweat and his face pressed against Rachel's neck, Jesse.

"What the fuck?" he shouted, almost spitting. They both turned to him wearing an expression of shock.

"Finn…" Rachel half whispered, looking ashamed. He turned on the spot and stormed down the stairs, heading towards his car, he had just got into the driving seat when she appeared in the front yard, messily dressed, Jesse on her tail.

"Finn, wait!" he said, but Finn ignored it.

"Please Finn, wait!" Rachel begged him, he didn't know why but something in her voice made him stay. He got out of the car and stood facing her, refusing to speak. She tried to take his hand but he pulled it away, "Please Finn, I'm so sorry!" tears welled up in her eyes, "I didn't mean it to happen, I swear!"

"She's right, it was an accident," Jesse told him, "I was just visiting and then one thing led to another, we didn't-" he started to explain but was interrupted as Finns fist collided with the side of his face sending Jesse falling to the ground.

"You can shut the fuck up, Jesse!" He said, glaring at him. 'Yeah, you didn't dodge this time did you, prick?' He gloated, silently. "We're done, Rachel, I mean it, done." He got into the car and closed the door before starting the engine.

"Wait! Finn don't do this!" she cried, banging on the window. He rolled it down and turned to look at her.

"I have to, It's actually not you, Rachel, it's me," he said softly, "I cheated on you too, I cheated on you first."

"What?" her tears stopped and she froze, seemingly stuck between hurt, anger and shock.

"I tried to hold onto you, but I didn't deserve you, we were never going to work anyway, you going off to New York, I couldn't follow you there or keep you here, I'm sorry Rachel,"

"Who?"

"I'm not going to tell you that, it was my fault not theirs and I'm not going to betray their trust like that."

"Quinn!" she spat.

"No! Don't you fucking dare!" he retorted, anger building up in him, "It wasn't her but even if it was, you would have no right to be angry, I cheated on her with you remember, she'd have every right to get her own back, but Quinn isn't like that." He told her angrily before driving away, leaving her with Jesse.

* * *

><p>"Finn, I'm so sorry," Brittany told him, giving him a tight hug, "What happened?"<p>

"She fucked Jesse, I punched him, I dumped her, she tried to change my mind, I confessed to cheating then I left," he said, not wanting to go into details.

"She slept with Jesse? You caught them?" she asked, looking sympathetic. "Wait you told her about us?" she asked, feeling horrified.

"No! don't worry," he reassured her, "I told her I cheated on her, but I refused to say who with, I said it was my fault, not theirs. Surprise, surprise she blamed Quinn."

"Oh, right, thanks for not telling her it was me," she said, hugging him again, she felt terrified that Rachel would work it out but she suppressed it so she could support Finn. "How are you?"

"I- I don't feel anything…" He told her, his stomach dropping, "I don't feel upset, I don't regret it or anything. Am I a bad person?"

"No, of course not! Maybe it just needs to sink in a bit first, you might be in shock or something," she said, taking his hand,

"Yeah…" he replied, unconvinced. 'You're right Hudson, you're an asshole. You cheated on Quinn, you cheated on Rachel, you broke up with Quinn at a funeral, you weren't even upset when you broke up with Rachel, you outted Santana, you went on an anti-gay rampage to Kurt, you fed your vegan girlfriend meat, you fucked your friends girl, you stole another friends girl, you blew nationals, you just punched Jesse for doing something you did yourself. Need I go on? You're an asshole, the only person you have left is Brittany and she is way too good a person for you to drag her down.' He continued to tear himself apart picking at every bad thing he ever did that he could still remember. "Shut up!" he shouted.

"I didn't say anything," Brittany replied, looking alarmed and upset.

"Oh, shit, sorry Brittany, I didn't mean you, I was kinda talking to myself in my head, I kinda zoned out and forgot you were there,"

"Are you going to be okay?" she asked, looking worried.

"I don't know…" he told her, 'I don't know if I deserve to…' he finished, silently.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: It's a little shorter than I would have liked but really the only point of this chapter was to end Finchel, set Finn up to start redeeming himself and to set up something for a later chapter.**


	14. Part Fourteen

Part Fourteen

He sat on the bleachers in the gym, sulking and trying to avoid everyone. He had done this all day in classes by burying his head in his work but now that it was lunch, he had nothing to distract himself with. He was so lost in thought he never noticed the girl sitting beside him until she spoke up.

"Finn…" she said, sounding concerned. He recognised her voice immediately and his heart lifted, though he did his best to hide it.

"Hey, Quinn," he replied. He didn't even turn to look at her, deciding to continue sulking instead.

"I heard about what happened, I'm sorry,"

"Why are you looking after me? I dumped her, shouldn't she be the one that's upset?"

"Don't be mad, but Brittany told me what really happened, that must have been awful to see…"

"Brittany told you?"

"She was worried about you, she didn't know how to cheer you up and she didn't think I would know you needed it if I thought you were just sick of Rachel or something, no one else really knows why it happened…"

"Well thanks, Quinn, it means a lot," he told her sincerely, "But no offense or anything, I just want to be by myself so can you just leave me alone?"

"No," she told him stubbornly.

"Why not?" he asked, finally turning to look at her.

"Because nobody should be alone when they're upset, even if they want to be, it's not good for you, you should always have someone there to look after you or you will just start feeling worse," she took his hand and squeezed it, and he felt his heart flutter at the feel of her skin on his.

"Thanks," he said, pathetically.

"I was wondering, if you aren't busy…" she paused, "Well Shelby is leaving soon, and she agreed to let me visit Beth one last time, so I was wondering if you maybe wanted to come with me, so you could meet her. I think she'd like you," she finished, smiling at him.

"Yeah," he said, "I'd love to." He felt a smile play across his face as he filled with excitement, he tried to hide it to avoid letting on to Quinn about his feelings towards her and Beth.

"Great, we'll go after school," she told him, standing up, "We've got to get to class now, come on, I'll walk with you," she said, smiling at him. She held out her hand ready for him to take it.

* * *

><p>Brittany watched from the doorway as he took Quinn's hand, a real smile on his face. She began to smile too, feeling proud of herself.<p>

'I always knew they'd find their way back to each other, even if they did need a bit of a push in the right direction.' She thought to herself. She turned to walk to class but as she did, she caught sight of Santana. She was about to head towards her when she realised who Santana was with, Rachel.

Panic flooded through her as she wondered what they could be talking about.

'She worked it out, she's telling Santana.' She ran to class, trying to calm herself down but all she could do was worry.

* * *

><p>Quinn knocked on Shelby's door, holding onto Finns hand tightly. He wondered whether it was for his benefit still or whether she wanted support, he squeezed back and she relaxed visibly. She was a mystery, but every now and then he seemed to know exactly what she was feeling. The door opened and Shelby stood in the doorway.<p>

"Hello Finn," she said smiling. She turned to Quinn and nodded coldly.

"Hello, Ms Corcoran," Quinn said politely, ignoring the coldness.

"Yeah, hi," Finn echoed, awkwardly.

"Come in then," she said, sounding slightly friendlier, before stepping aside, "she's just in her bedroom."

Quinn led Finn through to a small bedroom, a mess of crayons and paper lay scattered across the floor, and there in the corner was Beth. He stared at her, his heart filling with undeserved pride. He took note of everything; she looked so much like Quinn.

"Hi, sweetie," Quinn said, moving to sit next to her on the floor, she picked her up and put her in her lap.

"Quinn!" Beth said, putting her little arms around Quinn's neck.

"I have someone I want you to meet," Quinn told her, signalling to Finn to come closer, "This is my… Friend, Finn."

"Rhyme!" she said excitedly,

"Yeah, it does rhyme, doesn't it?" Quinn said smiling. "Come here then, Finn,"

"Hi, Beth" he said, smiling too. She climbed off Quinn and wobbled over to him, giving him a small hug too.

"Why, don't you play with Finn for a little bit, while I go talk to mommy" Quinn said, giving Finns hand a reassuring squeeze before leaving the room.

"What have you been drawing?" Finn asked Beth, pointing to her crayons.

"Kitty!" she told him, holding up one of her drawings.

"That's awesome!" he said, picking up a crayon and starting to draw too. They drew together and he started telling her about himself and about Quinn, while he waited for her to return.

* * *

><p>Brittany got home, still panicking about what Santana and Rachel were discussing. She pulled off her jacket and caught sight of her arm. Most of the scabs had healed into thin pink lines. She hadn't self-harmed since she first thought she was pregnant, worried it would hurt the baby some how but filled with anxiety and without the chance of a baby giving her restraint she found herself desperately needing to do it again.<p>

"One more time," she told herself.

* * *

><p>Quinn, Finn, Shelby and Beth, sat on the sofa, watching cartoons. Shelby and Quinn had been much more amicable towards each other after their private chat.<p>

"Has Beth got a middle name?" Quinn asked out of the blue.

"No," Shelby replied, seeming a little bemused. Quinn looked at Finn, before turning back to Shelby.

"How about Drizzle?" she asked. Finn almost choked as he realised what Quinn had suggested.

"Ms Corcoran, you don't need to give her a middle name," he turned to Quinn, "can I speak to you alone for a minute?" she nodded. "Bye Beth, we'll be back in a little bit," he told her before placing a light kiss on her forehead and leading Quinn outside of the apartment.

"What's wrong?" she asked, looking concerned.

"What the hell is going on, Quinn?" he asked her, feeling frustrated. "What is going on with wanting to call her Drizzle? Why did you even bring me here?"

"I…" Quinn said, unable to find words, "Brittany told me… About, you know, how you missed Beth, how you still love her like she's yours, I just wanted to give you a chance to spend some time with her before she was gone forever, I wanted to show you how important you are, to me and to her…" tears began to fall down her face.

"Quinn…"

"I'm so sorry, Finn" she told him through the tears, "I wish she was yours, I ruined everything with Puck, I fucked everything up for us and I'm so sorry!"

"Quinn… Don't be sorry, I get it; I fucked up too. I don't blame you for anything; Puck probably wouldn't have got the chance to take advantage of you if you hadn't been worrying about Rachel. It's my fault too… I…" 'Say it! Tell her you love her, you have blown it with her enough times, just let her know how you feel!' the voice in his head berated him. "Quinn, the truth is I'm completely in-" His phone rang loudly, interrupting him. "Fuck, I should get this, no one ever rings unless it's important. He looked at the phone and saw Santana's name on it. "What do you want, San?" he asked impatiently.

She began to cry loudly down the phone, even Quinn could hear her. He could barely understand what she was saying.

"What's wrong?" Quinn asked, clearly worried.

"Santana, I can barely understand you, slow down." She calmed down slightly and began to explain. Finn felt the colour drain from his face as her words sank in; he felt hot tears run down his face. "I'll be there in 5 minutes."

"What's wrong Finn?" Quinn asked him, visibly anxious.

"Brittany's in the hospital…"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: As you might have guessed, I have no freaking clue how well a toddler talks at Beths age, but I do know that some kids learn slowly and others learn fast, so hopefully the way she talks is believable enough. Sorry if it wasn't.**


	15. Part Fifteen

**A/N: This would have been up earlier but for some reason it wouldn't let me upload yesterday :S**

* * *

><p>Part Fifteen<p>

Finn barged through yet another set of double doors; Quinn hot on his heals, when he finally found Santana. She saw him immediately and ran straight into his arms, sobbing uncontrollably.

"Where is she?" He asked her, unable to hold back the urgency in his voice. She took his hand and led him to Brittany's room.

"In there," she said, motioning for him to go first. As he stepped into the room and his eyes landed on her pale face he felt himself go numb. The sounds around him faded out and his legs start to give way. He found his way to a chair by her bed and took her hand in his; it felt cold.

"I'm sorry, Brittany…" he told her, so softly that barely any sound escaped him. He stared at her eyelids, willing them to open but instead found his mind shutting down. He stopped being able to focus and his surrounding continued to disappear from his consciousness. Until all he was aware of was the constant beeping of her heart monitor and her cool skin in his hand.

* * *

><p>"I just turned up to her house," the voice said through tears, "She wasn't in the bedroom, but when I checked the bathroom… There was so much blood…"<p>

* * *

><p>"Is she going to be ok?" Finn heard someone ask.<p>

"We have given her a blood transfusion, all we can do is wait,"

* * *

><p>"I'm her fucking girlfriend! Don't tell me what I can and can't do!"<p>

* * *

><p>"Finn, I brought you some food," someone told him, placing a hand on his shoulder. He shook his head, refusing to take it.<p>

* * *

><p>"Finn, do you want me to take you home so you can get some rest?" he shook his head again.<p>

* * *

><p>"I think it's shock, we should call the parents again,"<p>

* * *

><p>"No!" the screams seemed to pierce through his eardrums, "I'm not leaving her! Get off me you psycho bitch! Get the fuck off me you fucking whore!"<p>

* * *

><p>"Maybe you can do something to help,"<p>

"Finn, Finn listen to me," he felt a hand on his cheek and turned his head to face the speaker. "Finn, it's time to go home, you haven't eaten or slept since you got here, you must have been awake for over 48 hours, sweetie,"

"I'm not tired,"

"Finn," another voice said to him, "This isn't a discussion, Brittany won't get miraculously better if you get worse, and I'm sure she'll be much happier to see you if you can think and speak properly when she wakes up," the mention of Brittany's name seemed to snap him to his senses a little bit. He looked around the room; the morning light was shining through the curtains. He checked the clock, quarter past nine.

"Finn, come on, you really need to go to bed," he turned back to face the voice and recognized his mom with Kurt and Burt standing behind her looking concerned.

"Where's Quinn? Where's Santana?"

"Quinn's mom took her home the first night," Kurt explained, "But she came back in the morning and was there all day but then she left again last night,"

"Santana stayed almost as long as you did," Burt continued, "But Brittany's dad took her home a few hours ago, she was becoming hysterical, she was getting in the way of the doctors and the nurses."

"Oh…" he replied, still unable to think clearly.

"Finn, honey, the nurses are worried you're in shock," his mom explained, "You haven't eaten or slept and have barely responded to anything, you really need to get some sleep."

"I don't want to leave her…" he told them, beginning to cry, squeezing Brittany's hand and hoping she understood.

"Finn, come on," Burt said, "We promise we'll bring you back as soon as you've had sleep." Finn wanted to refuse but he knew they were right. He stood up, legs still shaky, and let them lead him towards the door. The car ride seemed fast, in fact he barely even remembered it, it felt like only a minute between getting out of the chair in the hospital and collapsing onto his bed at home.

As much as he tried to resist, he fell into a dreamless sleep in seconds.

* * *

><p>He woke up to the sound of shuffling in his room, as he opened his eyes he saw a pile of fresh toast sitting on his bedside table and his stomach began to groan.<p>

"Morning, sleepy head," Finn rolled onto his back to find Quinn looking down at him smiling, "Eat up." She Turned around and went back to tidying Finns room.

"What are you doing?" he asked her.

"I'm tidying your pigsty of a room," She picked up a piece of paper from his floor and turned to him disapprovingly, "This homework is from three months ago, what's it doing on your floor?" He grinned at her and she began to laugh, going back to tidying. Suddenly, Finns memory returned and he sat bolt upright in bed.

"Brittany!" he said, beginning to panic, "I've got to get back to hospital, I need to make sure she's ok!" he jumped out of bed and made a move for the door but Quinn blocked his path.

"Sit down, eat your toast, starving yourself won't make Brittany better, you haven't ate since we were with Beth and that was almost 3 days ago," she picked up a piece of toast shoving it into his hand. "You've been asleep for almost 24 hours, I knew you'd wake up soon, it's fresh, now eat!"

"But Brittany…"

"I went to visit yesterday after you'd left, when I was leaving I gave the nurse my phone number and made her promise to have someone ring me when she woke up, do you know how mad at you Brittany will be if you starve to death before she wakes up, now eat," He did as he was told and went to sit on the bed. He watched Quinn tidy as he ate, and every so often she would catch him staring and smirk to herself.

"Quinn?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you here? I mean you made me breakfast, you're tidying my room… Why are you doing all this for me?" he asked her.

"You needed me, so I came," she replied, smiling at him.

"Just like that?"

"Just like that, well, my mom needed convincing to let me stay here last night, and your mom and Burt needed a bit of convincing to let me stay in your room so I could be here as soon as you woke up, but yeah, just like that,"

"Wait, you slept in here last night?" he asked.

"Yeah, if you're mom asks, I slept on the floor," she warned him.

"Thank you," he told her, nerves bubbling up in him. He thought about how peaceful his sleep had been and thought about her lying next to him, he couldn't help but connect the two together. 'Now's you're chance moron! Tell her how you feel, tell her you love her, just get on your knees and beg her to take you back! She was here, you obviously mean something to her, do it!'

"Hey Quinn, there was something I needed to tell you," she looked at him questioningly and he continued, "I was actually going to say it before we left Shelby's, the thing is, well us, we had like… well you were there for me, and you always seem to know the right thing to say, and well…" his cheeks flushed red as he realised he was rambling, 'Just do it, you twat!'

"What is it?"

"The thing is, Quinn, I'm-" he began to say but was interrupted by her phone ringing. 'You have to be freaking kidding me!' he thought to himself. He watched her as she listened to whoever was on the other line and a huge smile began to play across her face.

"She's awake!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I know it's been really Finn heavy the past few chapters but there's going to be a lot more Brittany now that she's back, so don't worry.**


	16. Part Sixteen

Part Sixteen

"So Finn and Santana were both here? And Quinn too?" she asked her mom.

"Yeah, and a few of the others visited too, but they were here the most. Quinn came every morning and stayed until the evening each day. Santana was here almost constantly, she only went home twice and that was because we made her. And Finn, bless him, he stayed by your side without eating or sleeping until yesterday morning, his parents made him go home, last I heard from his mom he was still asleep otherwise he'd probably be back here already." Brittany's heart swelled at the love her friends had shown her. "And speak of the devil, hello Santana,"

"Hey," Brittany's head whipped to the door, unable to help smiling at just the sound of Santana's voice.

"Hi, baby!" she said excitedly, but as she did so she saw the look on Santana's face and the tears welling up in her eyes, "Mom, can we have a bit of privacy please?"

Her mom left, placing a hand on Santana's shoulder as she passed her. Brittany watched Santana slowly walk towards the bed, as if she was scared if she moved to fast Brittany would run away from her.

"Hey, Brittany."

"Come here," Brittany said, sounding more pathetic than she had intended, it worked however, as Santana half ran to her side and grabbed her hand.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better, you look tired though"

"That's just a nice way of telling someone they look like crap,"

"No it's not!" Brittany protested, "You look as beautiful as ever, just really sleepy too,"

"Thanks," she replied, smiling weakly. "I love you so much, Brittany, why did you do it?"

"Oh," Brittany felt her stomach drop, she was hoping to put off this conversation indefinitely, "I wasn't actually trying to kill myself, I just… I went a little too far. Thanks for finding me…"

"I thought you had stopped," Santana said, starting to cry, "I never saw any fresh cuts, the ones you had were healing… I should have been able to stop this!"

"No, honey, I had stopped! It's not your fault, I was just upset, so I started again…" she reached up her spare hand and wiped away Santana's tears but they were quickly replaced by new ones.

"Why were you upset? Did I do something? Have I done something wrong?"

"Of course not, it was me that did something wrong," she said, realising only too late what she had just said. Santana's faced switched from worry to confusion and Brittany felt herself go cold.

"What do you mean you did something wrong?" Santana asked, Brittany began to feel sick but she knew she couldn't put it off any longer.

"San, there's something I have to tell you…"

* * *

><p>"Finn, will you slow down! I can't keep up with you walking that quick, Brittany isn't going anywhere," Finn turned to face her, she might have been scolding him but she was still grinning just as much as he was, "and could you maybe loosen your death grip on my hands, I think I'm losing circulation in my fingers."<p>

"Oh, sorry," he said, feeling slightly guilty, he looked at her hand and her fingers were turning purple.

"It's okay, lets just walk at a human speed, and maybe this time try not to crush my bones," she said, still grinning. They continued towards Brittany's room, walking slightly slower. They reached the hallway her room was on and found Santana walking towards them crying.

"Santana?" Finn called, getting her attention, "what's wrong, is Brittany ok?" he asked her, as she got closer. He didn't get an answer however; instead all he received was an almighty slap across his cheek. He stood there in stunned silence, his face burning.

"Santana-" Quinn started but she was interrupted as Santana started screaming at Finn in Spanish, more tears running down her cheek.

"San, what? I'm failing Spanish remember!" Finn said, still holding a hand to his cheek. She took a deep breath then glared at him.

"How could you do this to me, Finn, after everything, we were starting to become friends again. I was supposed to mean something to you!"

"Santana-"

"Save it! You're obviously full of shit; I can't believe you lied to my face… I can't believe I actually thought you were telling the truth, fuck you!" she stormed off, half running, leaving Finn and Quinn standing there in shock.

"Finn, what was that about?" Quinn asked him.

"Let's go see Brittany," he replied, refusing to answer, dread building up inside him. He got to her room Quickly and sat down in the seat beside her bed before saying a word to her.

"Hey, Finn," Brittany said, visibly upset.

"I saw Santana on the way here… Brittany, why did she just slap me?" She looked back at him, guilt written across her face. "You told her didn't you?" he said, more of a statement than a question.

"I'm sorry, Finn…" She said, beginning to cry, "I couldn't lie to her anymore! It's the reason I'm even here in the first place," she explained through her sobs.

"Brittany…" he said, taking her hand.

"It's just, you said you didn't blame Quinn for sleeping with Puck, you said it hurt but you forgave her… I just thought… if you could do that then maybe Santana would forgive us… I'm so sorry!" She began to sob even harder making it impossible to speak.

"You… you slept with her?" Quinn questioned from behind Finn. He turned to face her and saw the tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes.

"Quinn, we-"

"I get it, Finn, I should have realised it sooner," She laughed coldly, "You love her don't you?"

"Quinn…" he said, at a lost for words, he wanted to deny it but he didn't know whether he would be telling the truth or not, he couldn't lie to her again.

"I can't believe I was this stupid. Rachel saw you in bed with her, you were suddenly best friends, she seemed to know every damn thing about you… I've been here telling myself that maybe we could try again. I convinced myself you loved me, but it was her this whole time…"

"No, Quinn! I do love-"

"Don't! Don't say it to me! The last time you said it, I spent the entire night crying my eyes out, the time before that you only said it because you had been drinking and the time before that you had just dumped me! Just don't say it to me… ever!" she turned to Brittany, "I'm sorry, Brittany, I'm glad you're okay, but I need to go," She ran from the room, still fighting back the tears. Finn was torn between chasing her and looking after Brittany but after what she had just heard and said he knew she would rather he do the latter.

"Shit..."


	17. Part Seventeen

**A/N: I was going to have this up sooner, I don't really have an excuse, it was my birthday on the 2nd so I've been lazy, sorry about that :P**

* * *

><p>Part Seventeen<p>

"How about Bambi?" she asked, looking through her limited DVD collection, "When he tries to walk on the ice he looks like you and Rory dancing…"

"Whatever."

"That's it…" Brittany turned to face him starting to become agitated, "talk to me Finn, you do remember I'm the one that just got out of hospital for almost killing myself, right? But you're the one who is acting completely depressed. I thought we were going to try and be happy."

"Yeah… let's just watch the movie and be happy," he told her, giving an unconvincing smile.

"Leave,"

"What?" he asked, starting to panic.

"I don't mean like that, I'm not kicking you out," she picked up his keys and placed them in his hands, "go downstairs, get in your car, go to her house and tell her you love her. Moping wont help."

"I don't want to, Brittany… She doesn't want me to, I'm pretty sure she hates me right about now," he took her hand and pulled her onto the bed, "come here, I'm supposed to be looking after you, come give me a cuddle and lets watch Bambi."

"Okay," she said smiling, almost as unconvincingly as him.

"Brittany…" he said, trying to figure out how best to phrase his question, "have you… have you spoke to San?"

"No," she told him, her smiling fading instantly, "I've rang her… and texted and emailed and Facebook messaged… I was even tempted to put a letter in the post but I didn't know how to do the address… She won't talk to me, Finn" she explained, sounding defeated.

"Brittany, don't worry, she will forgive you. She just needs some space; otherwise she would have ended it. If she didn't break up with you that means there must be a part of her that still wants to be with you, and I've seen the way she looks at you so I know that's a very big part of her…"

"She doesn't…"

"Of course she does, just give her time."

"Finn you don't get it!" she shouted, surprising him. A tear began to run down her cheek and she wiped away with her sleeve, "She _did_ break up with me… as soon as I told her, I didn't tell you because I thought if I didn't talk about it I could pretend it didn't happen…"

"Brittany…" he said, unable to think of something to say to her. More tears began to run down her cheeks and he pulled her close to him, cradling her in his arms. "You should go to her, ask her to take you back and don't give up until she says yes, you need to be with her. You love her and she loves you, you belong together, Brits."

"I just told you to do the exact same thing with, Quinn, if you won't why should I? You love her, she loves you, what's the difference?"

"The difference is that I'm also in love with Rachel… Me and Quinn, we've been there before, I kinda ended up leaving her remember?" he sighed, trying to hold back his frustration at himself, "How would it be fair to ask her to go through that again? Especially since this time I love you as well… One other girl is bad enough, two would probably drive her to kill me."

"Why do you love me, Finn? I don't get it, I lie, I cheat, I'm stupid, I've screwed nearly every guy in school and a few of the girls too, and as you know not all of them were single," She continued crying silently as she listed all of the things she hated about herself, "I used Artie, I've almost ruined glee club a few times… Did you know the first thing I did when I found out Quinn was pregnant was make a joke about her buying sweat pants? I'm such a bitch!" she shouted, her crying becoming more severe.

"No, Brittany, no you're not," he wiped away her tears and looked into her eyes, "You're beautiful and kind and caring, you're the most fun and bubbly person I've ever met, yeah you did some things you aren't proud of, but so did I, so did Quinn and Puck and Santana and pretty much everyone else we're friends with. The important thing is that you changed, you realised it was wrong and you're becoming a better person. You've _become_ a better person. You don't see the way people really look at you Brittany, all you see is people either gawking at you cause you're hot or laughing at you cause they think you're not smart. But you miss the people that look at you in wonder because they don't understand how you became such a genius, you might not be book smart, but you're people smart, you understand emotions and feelings better than anybody I have ever met. You don't see the way people look at you when you dance, that mix of admiration and awe because you move in a way most people didn't even realise was possible until they saw you. You don't see the pure pride and happiness that me and San and Quinn and everyone else in glee club feel just because we have a friend like you, someone who is brave and compassionate, the kind of girl who loves guys and girls and would never be ashamed of what people thought about that. I love you because even though I have and still am screwing up your life, even though you just got out of hospital and need looking after more than anybody else and even though I'm a complete douchebag a lot of the time, it's never about you, it's always about the other person, you put everybody else first, you're selfless, and that is why I love you…"

"Thank you…" she told him just before his lips collided with hers, feeling as if they were burning into her skin. Her mind seemed to slow for a moment but it quickly returned to her and she pushed him away.

"Oh my god, Brittany, I'm sorry!" He backed away, feeling guilty, "I don't know what came over me, well that's a lie, I do know, but I shouldn't have gave into it, I'm sorry… Can we-" he began to ask but he was interrupted by her lips on his, much softer and more gentle than his kiss, she was less desperate but more deliberate. He kissed back, relishing each second before she pulled away.

"It's okay, Finn, I think I just pushed you away cause I was surprised… But this is confusing, for both of us, Rachel, Quinn, San…" she almost began to cry at the mention of the last name but held it back, "There's a lot going on in our heads right now, so if this, if us is going to happen, it can't be yet, we need to know it's what we want, not just a back up plan."

"Deal," he told her, smiling at her, "so how about you press play, Bambi has been on the menu screen for about twenty minutes…"

* * *

><p>Brittany brushed the hair off his forehead, smiling to herself, as he slept.<p>

"Now I know why Quinn was a morning person when she lived with you, you still have that goofy smile even while you sleep," she whispered, so that she wouldn't wake him. "And I'm going to shut up now, I'm pretty much talking to myself." She thought about the things he had said to her earlier and how much she knew he cared about her. As much as she tried to resist it, the feelings from their drunken night began to resurface. He made her feel safe, wanted, happy. 'And horny, don't forget horny!' she resisted the urge to laugh at the voice in her head but a small giggle escaped. Finn began to rouse and his eyes opened, his smile brightening when he saw her watching him.

"So much for being able to sleep through anything and everything," she said, feeling slightly frustrated, "Hey."

"Hey…" he said, his eyes looking slightly glassy.

"I changed my mind."

"What about?"

"Before, I said we shouldn't be together yet and I still mean that, but I changed my mind about the kiss… And taking it further."

"I thought you said we should take time to figure out what we want."

"Well, it's more _who _we want that needs figuring out… _what_ is much easier…"

"What are you on about?"

"Me and Santana might be over, I don't know whether to accept that or not, you and Rachel are over and you aren't sure if you have moved on or not, and you also don't know who you want to move on _to._ But when it comes to what you want…" she smirked at him and wet her lips, deciding to be blunt, "Can you honestly say you don't want to fuck me right now?"

His lips met hers in an instant and she kissed back ferociously, his hands winding through her hair. She pushed him onto his back and straddled him then began to kiss and nibble at his neck; she pulled her t-shirt over her head and threw it across the room before doing the same with his. He sat up, her still straddling his lap and bit hard onto her shoulder.

"Fuck!"

"Shit, did I hurt you?"

"Yeah…" she said, before smirking again, "I kinda liked it." He returned her grin and bit into her shoulder once again, satisfaction washing over him as she gasped. "You know what? Screw the foreplay; I'm already way too horny… So take your pants off, tonight is gonna be fun," she laughed, winking at him.

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><p><strong>AN: I'm already part way done with the next chapter, so hopefully it wont be as long a wait this time.**


	18. Part Eighteen

**A/N: I know the last chapter made it seem like there was going to be some sexy time, but I'm kind of in a dry spell so I don't have a lot of motivation for the sex stuff :P apologies if you're disappointed x**

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><p>Part Eighteen<p>

Brittany awoke the next morning, her muscles aching satisfyingly. The bed felt warm and comfortable making the prospect of getting up incredibly uninviting. She lay in bed, cradled in Finns arms pretending to be asleep with her eyes shut tightly to block out the encroaching morning light. She felt Finn shift next to her and he placed a soft gentle kiss on her lips, she smiled and kissed back letting him know she was awake.

"Morning," he said, grinning as she opened her eyes.

"I prefer afternoon, leave me alone and let me sleep," she said, still feeling groggy.

"I'd love to, but it's a school day and you need to go back," he told her getting up and pulling on some pants.

"Not fair," she replied, groaning. "You think attempted suicide would be a good enough reason for a week or two off school."

"That's what I said actually, but they think that routine will help you feel better."

"Oh yeah, sure, lets stick me in a building where I spend most of the day with my ex-girlfriend, the guy I cheated on her with, the girl who's in love with him who hates me since she found out and his ex-girlfriend who he cheated on with me… yeah, that's going to make me feel great. Besides, I had routine before I put myself in hospital and that obviously didn't prevent it, doctors are idiots." She pulled the covers over her head but after a few seconds Finn tore them from her.

"At least give it a go, you never know it might… help…" he trailed off, making Brittany realise he was staring at her naked.

"Pervert," she laughed, making him blush.

"Here," he threw her his hoodie so she could cover up, "Go have a shower, get ready for school, I need to go home and get ready too," he gave her a kiss on the forehead and made for the door but Brittany stopped him.

"Finn, we need to talk about us first," she told him, "Last night was awesome, but I don't think we should do that again."

"You want to be just friends?"

"At least for now, I mean, I do love you, you're like the best friend ever and I really meant it when I said I wanted you last night. But I'm in love with Santana, and Quinn is my friend and she's in love with you, I shouldn't be doing this to her either. Maybe sometime in the future we could be more, but not until we're both over the people we love." She looked at the floor after disappointment flashed across his face, "Sorry…"

"It's okay, Brit, you're right, you always are about these things," he sighed, "I was hoping neither of us would admit it, but we should just be friends. The thing is though; I think you're wrong about that not happening again,"

"Finn… we can't just keep jumping into bed with each other whenever we feel horny."

"Of course not, I'm not saying it should happen regularly," he laughed slightly, "You work me over so hard I don't think I'd even be _able_ to do that regularly. But if we ever really need each other again, and we're still single, still lonely…"

"Okay, fair enough, but if I get my way we'll be with San and Q, so don't get your hopes up for me rocking your world again," she winked at him making him laugh loudly.

"We are so messed up," he said, still laughing.

"Yeah, we are," she told him, grinning. She sighed and gave him a hug, resting her head against his chest. "I love you… Buddy."

"I love you too," he said, still chuckling.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Finn," Burt called to him from the other side of the shop, "You have a visitor, she says it's important,"<p>

"Who?"

"Santana," Burt replied. Finn walked towards the entrance feeling wary, the memory of his burning cheek feeling all too vivid.

"Hey, San…" he said when he saw her, making sure to keep his distance.

"Hey, Finn, I wanted to come by to apologize to you," she said, seeming pained. Finn was impressed, he knew deep down she was a good person and regretted the bad things she did but she had always been too prideful to apologize up until now.

"You don't need to apologize; I deserved that slap. I should be apologizing, I can never make it up to you but I really am sorry."

"It's got nothing to do with slapping you, Finn. I'm not sorry for that, you were a total wank-sock and I'm glad I slapped you," she told him, her anger visibly flaring up for a moment before she calmed again.

"Then what-"

"Shut up and let me finish," she interrupted. "Listen, I know you're in love with Quinn, I mean it's totally obvious…" she paused, seeming uncomfortable about what she was trying to tell him. Finn waited for her to continue before speaking up.

"Santana, what does me loving Quinn have to do with-"

"I slept with her," she told him.

"No, seriously, what's Quinn got to do with you apologizing?"

"I'm serious, Finn, the night we found out about it, we kind of tried drowning our sorrows, and well… when we were drunk, I fucked Quinn," she told him, staring at her feet.

"But… Quinn's straight," he said, struggling to process what she was trying to tell him.

"Well apparently not so much when she's drunk, angry and depressed,"

"How could you…" he started, anger building up in him, "How could she?" he asked rhetorically, his voice rising. He glared at Santana but the sad look in her eyes brought images of Brittany to his mind and he began to calm down.

"Finn…"

"Save it, Santana, I don't deserve an apology. You did nothing wrong, one single girl slept with another single girl. I don't have any claim on Quinn and after what I did to both of you I don't deserve to be upset." He reassured her but still struggled to hide the jealousy in his voice.

"It was a one time thing, honestly I think Quinn is really freaking out about her sexuality, what with the whole religion thing, she just won't admit it."

"Since you're being honest with me, me and Brittany slept together again last night," he told her, she flinched as he said it but restrained her anger. "It won't happen again, we talked about it. She really loves you, Santana, I know this is really fucked up and our relationships are a mess but the one thing I know is that you and her belong together."

"I know… I can't be angry at her, I know I should, I know if it was anyone else they'd be cut off for life but all I want to do is forgive her and be with her and… well you get the picture," She began to move towards the door, "Bye, Finn, I still can't really talk to you, I just wanted to tell you about me and Quinn."

"San, wait!" he said with more urgency than necessary, he took her arm and turned her to face him again, "I love you, Santana, I need you to know that. I don't deserve it and we fight all the time, but you're my friend and I love you. I will do everything I can to make things right with you and not just about Brittany, I still owe you for outing you." He felt his eyes begin to well up at the thought of losing Santana. "I'm so incredibly sorry, I never knew what would happen, I was angry and stupid and I just didn't think and I could have ruined your life, I wish I could take it all back."

"Finn, it's not completely your fault okay? You were a fucking moron and kind of an asshole, but you were right in what you said. Plus, it was that guy who put it in his campaign video that ruined my life. I was evil to you, I know how you feel about your body and I crossed the line so many times leading up to that." He pulled her into a tight hug, she was reluctant at first but quickly relented, hugging him back, "I'll kill you and I'll deny it if you repeat this to anyone, but I was totally talking out of my ass when I said those things to you, you're actually kind of hot… For a guy anyway."

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><p><strong>AN: Not 100% happy with this chapter, but I never am. My motivation continues to die with each new glee episode, (However I have seen the kiss in the promo so I'm inspired to write some Brittana :P). I should wrap up this story in the next few chapters and then (or even while i'm finishing this story if I get more motivated) I'm gunna write a few one-shots or two-shots (It's not that I don't like longer stories, it's just that If it's only one or two chapters Glee can't kill it when they bring out a new episode and depress me with the lack of my OTPs.**


	19. Part Nineteen

**A/N: Ok, I'm sorry, I had a wicked case of writers block (which is kinda ironic because the amount of happiness I felt after that kiss should have made me write for weeks :P) and it took me ages with this chapter so sorry it's been like ages (at least for me) since I updated. On a positive note, I only have one more chapter to finish (since I've already written the final one) and i also went back and fixed most (I really doubt all) of the grammar and spelling mistakes in all my other chapters so I'm going to repost those (i'm keeping the original notes though)**

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><p>Part Nineteen<p>

Brittany led Quinn through to the living room where Santana was waiting for them.

"What's going on?" Quinn asked as she saw the serious look on both Brittany and Santana's face.

"Sit down, Quinn," Santana ordered, pointing to a chair opposite her. Brittany sat down next to Santana and they both looked at Quinn.

"We're doing this because we love you," Brittany told her smiling.

"What are you on, Brit?" Santana asked her with a look of bewilderment on her face.

"That's what they say on TV for these sort of things," Brittany explained.

"We're not fictional characters on a TV show though, are we?" Santana replied.

"Well you never know, we could-"

"Can we just get to the point?" Quinn interrupted, becoming impatient. Brittany looked to Santana, indicating she should start.

"Well we need to talk about your lady loving tendencies," she explained. Brittany nudged her, "And I suppose we should talk about the whole Finn thing too."

"He loves you, Quinn, you need to stop ignoring him," Brittany told her. "I know you have been there before and it didn't work but the fact you both still love each other and keep ending up back with each other must mean something."

"Well, it could mean something but there always seems to be something or someone," she shot a dark look at Brittany, "that get's in our way."

"Quinn, I never meant to, I swear!" Brittany told her, becoming upset. Quinn softened, keeping her temper in check.

"It's okay, it's not your fault." She said. Brittany wasn't sure if she meant it or if she was just trying to be kind but Santana pressed on anyway.

"And what about your whole, you know, girl fucking thing?" she asked, bluntly. "You can't keep ignoring that."

"Shut up, Santana," she said, her anger quickly resurfacing. "I'm not talking about Finn, and I'm sure as hell not talking about a drunken tumble that didn't mean anything!"

"Quinn…" Brittany said, pleadingly.

"I've got to go, I've got stuff I need to pick up from school," she told them. "Goodbye."

She walked herself to the door leaving Santana and Brittany in silence.

"Well that was a waste of time," Santana said eventually, "we need a better idea."

"Yeah," Brittany replied becoming all too aware of the fact that it was the first time they had really been alone together for more than a minute since they had broken up. They sat in awkward silence for a moment before Santana spoke up.

"Well, I should probably leave now," she said, looking out of the window, "bye, Brit-Brit."

"Don't go!" Brittany said, unable to hold back the urgency in her voice. She wasn't even completely sure why she said it but Santana nodded and sat back down on the sofa next to her. They sat in silence, both staring in different directions until Brittany remembered something from the day she had put herself in hospital.

"San?"

"Yeah?"

"The day I went to hospital, you and Rachel were talking about something in the hallway at school, what was it?" Brittany asked, turning to look at Santana.

"I don't remember," she replied, looking at the floor.

"Oh, okay," Brittany said, feeling slightly disappointed. They reverted back to their silence and Brittany risked the odd glance in Santana's direction. After about 5 minutes Brittany began to feel warm tears run down her cheeks and quickly began to sob quietly to herself. After only a few seconds she felt Santana wrap her arms around her, pulling her close. She buried her face into Santana's chest as she began slowly rocking her back and forth, stroking her hair.

"I'm so sorry, Santana," she said into Santana's already damp t-shirt, in-between her sobs. "I wish I could take it all back, please don't hate me."

"It's okay, Brittany," Santana told her, lifting her head up so she could see into Brittany's eyes. "It hurts, but I'm not angry at you. I don't even know if I'm supposed to be angry with you or not, but even if I am I don't think I can be. I can understand how it would happen; I mean, I did do the same thing with Quinn."

Santana tightened her hold on Brittany until her crying subsided and they continued to sit in silence.

"Brittany, I need to go home, but…" she hesitated as she stood up, "would you like to go on a date with me?"

"A date? Where?"

"I don't know, breadstix or something, I'll text you, okay?"

"Okay."

Santana turned round and left, leaving Brittany with a sick nervous feeling in stomach.

* * *

><p>Finn was still moody from the events of the past week as he drove home but as he passed the school he caught sight of Quinn in the parking lot. 'Fix it' he told himself, pulling over. He got out of the car and walked over to hers just as she was closing the trunk.<p>

"Hey, Quinn," he said meekly, "What are you doing at the school so late?" he asked her. She ignored him and walked the long way around the car to the drivers seat. He walked the other way to cut her off and force her to look at him.

"Quinn, will you just talk to me, please?" he begged, feeling pathetic but not even caring. She ignored him again and tried to walk around him again but he stood against the door stopping her opening it. "When are you going to stop shutting me out?"

"When I stop loving you!" she shouted at him, tears forming in her eyes and her fury almost spilling from her. They stood in silence, Quinn waiting for him to move and Finn unsure how to react. He stared deep into her eyes and almost simultaneously they threw themselves at each other, Quinn's hands gripping tightly on the front of Finns jacket and his placed firmly on her hips. Finn felt his legs shake as she kissed him, with more love, passion and force than she had ever done before. He steadied himself and spun her round, lifting her up to sit on the hood of the car. Quinn's hands glided down his torso to his belt and without hesitation or permission she undid it, along with the button and zip of his jeans.

Finn began to kiss back even harder to tell her it was what he wanted and he quickly slid his hands up her dress and removed her underwear, letting it fall to her ankles. Their lips finally parted as she began kissing his jaw, he rammed into her causing her to bite down hard on his shoulder, her eyes shut tight. She began kissing him again as he started to thrust. She slid her hands up the back of his shirt, digging her nails into his skin.

Finn pulled away from her lips and began kissing her neck, grunting into it. He thrust into her even harder, causing her to gasp. She began to moan softly, her nails digging into his flesh even deeper. He bit down on her neck lightly and she threw her head back, her moans increasing. She climaxed quickly only just coming before Finn, and they stayed there panting, holding each other up. Finn held her tightly in his arms until he finally gained the courage to look in her eyes again.

"I love you…" he told her, but her eyes opened wide and she pushed him backwards, before pulling up her underwear.

"Shit! This shouldn't have happened!" she said, tears gathering in the corner of her eyes again.

"Quinn…"

"No, it was a mistake, I can't do this, not after Rachel and Brittany… I can't!"

"Quinn!" he shouted at her, feeling hurt and frustrated. "Why are you so angry at me for sleeping with Brittany! We weren't even together! It's not fair, you're just like Rachel!" his stomach dropped as the words left his mouth. Quinn immediately seemed withdrawn and he could see how hurt she was. "No, I didn't mean it! I swear! I'm sorry…"

"If you didn't mean it, you wouldn't have said it! Of all the… Just leave me alone Finn, don't speak to me… ever." She pushed him aside and got into her car. She drove away, leaving Finn alone in the dark Parking lot. He fell to his knees, a knot in his stomach.

"Fuck!"

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><p><strong>AN: I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up but I can promise it wont be as big of a break as this time. Also when it's up the next chapter will be up probably in less than 24 hours afterwards, so there definitely wont be a big break.**


	20. Part Twenty

**A/N: I didn't expect this to take so long to upload, I knew what I wanted to write but for some reason I just couldn't get the words out.**

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><p>Part Twenty<p>

"Hey Finn!" Brittany called to him from the other end of the hallway, "Have you heard yet? People are saying there was a couple having sex in the school parking lot last night!" she told him, giggling.

"What?" he asked, his eyes widening in terror. She cocked her head to the side as she looked at him and then her eyes shot open. She dragged him to a secluded part of the hallway and pressed his back against the wall.

"Was that you and Quinn?" she asked, incredulous.

"How…" he breathed.

"I can read you like a book, Finn. One for little kids with pictures and really big writing." She started bouncing on her heels excitedly. "Does this mean you are back together?"

"No," he told her, sighing and staring at the floor. "I think I really fucked up, I saw her in the parking lot and she was ignoring me. I don't know how it happened but we started kissing, then more… But afterwards she sorta freaked out when I told her I love her. She said it shouldn't have happened and she was still angry about you and well then, then I told her she was just like Rachel." Brittany winced. "I know, mistake… Then she got mad, told me to never speak to her again and left."

"Oh, Finn, I'm sorry," she told him, pulling him into a tight hug.

"How are things going with Santana?" he asked when she let him go.

"She asked me out on a date…" Brittany told him, still unsure how to feel. "I'm really nervous, we haven't fixed anything and I don't even know why she asked me out"

"Well maybe that's why she want's to go on a date, to try and fix things," he told her with a reassuring smile. "You just need to make sure it's a really good date. Like when I kiss Quinn, we both feel fireworks. Well, I do, I don't think she does anymore. Just kiss her, kiss her and then you will know whether you both feel something.

"I guess, I'll talk to you later, bye," she said before kissing him on the cheek and running off to class.

* * *

><p>Brittany looked up at Santana from across the table, hundreds of things running through her mind. Their date had become awkward quickly and more than half of the meal had been spent in silence, both of them idly playing with their food.<p>

"This spaghetti is really good," she said, hoping to start some sort of conversation to kill the awkward silence.

"Yeah, it is," Santana replied with a weak smile. Brittany sulked staring back down at her plate. She was torn, half of her wanted to just get up and run away so she would never have to deal with the thought that Santana might not love her anymore but the other half wanted to take Finn's advice to the extreme and jump across the table and give Santana the most heartfelt kiss of her life.

Desert came and went with so little interaction between the two of them that when Santana asked the waitress for the check Brittany almost jumped in surprise. They walked to the car in complete silence, Brittany subtly watching Santana from the corner of her eye. The silent dinner might have been about half as painful if Santana didn't look so unbelievably stunning. Her hair was pushed behind her left ear leaving her hair to fall in waves down her back and over her right shoulder. She wore a simple red dress reminiscent of the one she wore for Burt and Carole's wedding and her make up was subtle but the way her lip-gloss reflected the light made it even harder to resist grabbing her and forcing her into that planned kiss.

The drive back to her house was only fifteen minutes but by the time they were half way it already felt like it had been twenty. She watched Santana as she drove; she looked overly tense which was unusual for Santana because she was usually sort of a careless driver. Brittany knew it was the date that had left her feeling tense and she started to wonder whether Santana had regretted asking her out in the first place. She remembered the state she had been in when Santana had asked her crying and vulnerable, pathetically pleading for forgiveness that she didn't deserve. There was only one reason she could think of for Santana asking her out, a pity date.

"San?" she asked as they pulled onto Brittany's street, "Why did you ask me on a date?"

"Do I need a reason?" Santana replied as she pulled over outside of Brittany's house. Brittany felt herself becoming frustrated at Santana for avoiding the question.

"You know, I get you're angry at me but it's kind of cruel to lead me on with some sort of pathetic pity date," she shot back angrily. She got out of the car making a point of slamming the door and then walked up the path towards her house.

"What the fuck!" Santana half yelled from behind her, Brittany turned round to see Santana had gotten out of the car and followed her.

"It's obvious you didn't want to be there with me tonight!" Brittany retorted, her eyes welling up. She could tell Santana was offended but her anger quickly subsided and she sighed.

"This… this was a mistake," she said, avoiding eye contact. "I'm gonna go home, Brit."

"Don't just walk away from me!" Brittany ordered, desperation quickly replacing the anger she had felt moments ago.

"I'm sorry, Brittany." She started to step backwards towards her car, "I just don't know if we're going to work out."

Brittany panicked; dread filled her making her stomach churn and the night quickly seemed much colder. She remembered Finn's advice; she just had to find out if Santana still felt something and without hesitation she lunged forward, her lips searching for Santana's. She was pushed backwards and Santana looked at her seemingly stuck between anger and confusion.

"I'm sorry…" Brittany choked out, her tears finally falling. "I'm sorry! It's just that Finn told me that when he kissed Quinn they both used to feel fireworks and I just thought maybe if I could just kiss you I would find out if you still felt something… I was stupid; I'm stupid. I'm sorry…"

She turned on the spot and ran for her door but before she had made more than 2 steps, Santana grabbed her arm and pulled her into a very desperate kiss. Brittany kissed back clinging to every moment in Santana's arms like it was her last moment on earth.

"I definitely still feel something Brittany," Santana told her when their lips finally parted. "I'm sorry the date was so bad… I just… well I'm sorry."

"I love you, Santana…" Brittany told her through her never-ending tears. "I know you're mad at me but I'll wait for forever until you don't hate me anymore I promise!" She wanted to say more but found herself in Santana's embrace again, their lips working so hard her tongue and jaw were beginning to ache.

"I can't hate you Brittany," Santana told her, barely whispering. Her tears had begun to fall too but her sobs were almost silent. "I'm sorry I even tried to hate you, you were drunk, I was upset but I wish I never blamed you."

She threw herself at Brittany once again pushing her backwards so Brittany eventually found herself with her back pressed to her front door. She spun Santana around, pressing her against the door instead and her hand quickly found its way to the hem of Santana's dress, she snaked it up the inside of her thigh without hesitation, Santana's breathing becoming more shallow and faster. Brittany slipped her hand under Santana's underwear and into her without a second thought but after a moment Santana pulled her hand away and broke the kiss, panting heavily.

"You're parents are like, on the other side of that door Brit, we can't do this here," She explained smirking slightly. "I need to go home now, we'll fix us, I promise."

"Bye San," Brittany said, giving Santana a gentle kiss on the cheek. Santana began to walk back to her car but she turned back to face Brittany after a few paces.

"I will always love you, Brittany S. Pierce, no matter what."

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><p><strong>AN: The next chapter is already finished so I will upload it tomorrow. Promise.**


	21. Part Twenty One

Part Twenty-One

"Are you sure they're both going to be here?" Brittany asked nervously before getting out of the car.

"Britts, I gots this!" Santana reassured her, "I told Quinn that if she came to this party then I won't give her the whole 'lady loving' stuff anymore."

"What about Finn?" She asked, "he didn't exactly seem in the party mood today."

"Well I told him there'd be lots of alcohol and you'd be drunk so you'd be dancing half naked… I don't think he could resist" Santana told her, winking.

"I can't believe you're pimping me out just to get these two together. Are you sure neither of them know the other one will be here?" she asked, still nervous.

"I'm positive! When do my plans ever go wrong?" Santana remarked, taking Brittany's hand and leading her towards the bonfire, "Look, lover boy is right there, stop worrying or he's gunna realise something is up." Brittany took a deep breath and composed herself.

"Hey, Finn!" she called, dragging Santana over to him, they sat down next to him at the bonfire and he handed them both a drink.

"Hi, are these all people from our school? I don't even recognise half of the people here…" he told them looking around.

"That's what happens when you have a party in the middle of nowhere, what do you expect? Bouncers?" Santana asked him.

"Hey, I didn't throw it, what's with the attitude?" he asked, feeling defensive.

"I'm mad at you," she explained, "and it will stay that way 'til you man up and fix things with Quinn. Seriously, even Beth is less of a little girl than you are."

"San!" Brittany scolded her, giving Finn an apologetic look.

"It's ok, Brit, San's right,"

"As always," Santana added smirking.

"But I don't see what the point is," he told them, sighing and taking another gulp of his drink, "You didn't see her face when I was with her in the parking lot last week… She doesn't even want me to try."

"Yeah, well you don't see her face every time we say your name," Santana told him.

"It's like she forgets she's supposed to be mad at you for a few seconds and she's all lovey-dovey smiling," Brittany cut in.

"And then she remembers and starts glaring again, it's all an act you know, her being mad at you," Santana told him.

"She's just trying to convince herself she doesn't want you because she's trying to swear off boys or something," Brittany explained.

"Which leads to a totally different conversation that she just refuses to have with me," Santana added, smirking.

"Not the time, baby," Brittany warned her.

"Listen, girls, thanks for trying to help, but she's made it pretty clear to me how she feels, I'm a mistake. Can I not just get drunk and pretend to be happy?" he asked.

"We're not dropping this, Finn, but I suppose a bit of time off couldn't hurt," Brittany told him.

"A toast!" Santana declared, raising her cup. Brittany and Finn did the same, "to denial!" she shouted, earning her a nudge in the ribs from Brittany.

* * *

><p>Brittany pulled away from Santana's lips and turned to Finn to continue their conversation but he was staring off into the distance instead. She followed his line of sight and saw Rachel dancing with an incredibly drunk Puck.<p>

"Finn don't you dare even think about it," she chastised him, "You know bad for each other you were!"

"I'm not thinking about it, I was just thinking about how fast she moved on this time," he told her, "it feels weird, I never realised how obsessed and possessive and stalkerish she still was until she stopped. It feels kinda, liberationing…"

"You mean liberating," Santana told him.

"Yeah, that…" he said still watching Rachel. Santana nudged Brittany and nodded in the opposite direction. She turned and saw Quinn getting out of her car.

"You ready?" Brittany whispered.

"I've got to go," Santana told her making sure Finn noticed, she turned to him, "I've got a special surprise to remind you and Quinnie-bee how much you actually love each other," she told him, giving him a wink and then running off.

"What the… wait! Quinn is here?" he asked Brittany, panicking.

"Yep! She's over there, let's go say hello!" she said, cheerfully. She grabbed his hand and dragged him towards Quinn.

"You planned this didn't you, I swear to got Brittany, if you planned this I'm going to be so pissed off!" he warned her.

"Yeah, yeah, you can thank me in the morning," she turned and beamed at him, then continued dragging him towards Quinn. "Hey, Quinn! Good to see you, anyway, you two probably have a lot to talk about, so like… bye!" she beamed at them both and ran off to find Santana, laughing lightly.

"I should have known this was a trap," Quinn said, more to herself than Finn. "I'm gunna go…"

"Wait, Quinn, don't leave! She was right…" Finn told her, pleadingly.

"Finn, we have nothing to talk about, I'm just going to go home, this was a mistake…"

"For fucks sake Quinn! Stop being so damn proud!" he shouted, feeling frustrated.

"Excuse me?" she said, offended.

"I love you, Quinn, but sometimes I really wish you would open up more and stop shutting yourself off!"

"We are _so _not going down this road again!"

"Quinn! Don't you get it? I'm worried about you!" he told her, still feeling frustrated. "Every time something bad or scary happens to you, you just shut down so you don't have to feel it, but what if they never go away? What if one day when you finally let your guard down, all these bad things from your past are still there and they just tear you apart because you never dealt with them before?"

"It's none of your business Finn!"

"Actually, you're wrong! It is my business, because I love you and I want to be with you! Which means I want to be there when your wall comes down and you need someone to help you deal with everything."

"I don't need someone to help me deal with them!"

"Yes you do! I get it Quinn, you're strong, you're stronger than anyone I've ever met, but that doesn't mean you need to do everything alone! Nobody should have to be alone when they're upset, even if they want to be…" he added, his voice softening. She looked away from him, remembering when she had said the same thing to him, but he placed his hand gently on her cheek and turned her to look at him. She bit her lip in frustration, her eyes welling up.

"Please, Quinn, I love you. Please just give me one more chance to prove it to you," he begged.

"I can't go through losing you again, Finn," she told him, "I know one of us will just fuck up again and… can you promise me that we won't fuck it up this time?"

"No… I can't promise that," he told her honestly, "You know when I look at Santana and Brittany… It's weird; we're still pretty much kids, but I just know they're meant to be together forever, they're perfect."

"What's that got to-" she began to ask, but he ignored her continuing on.

"But we're not, we're screwed up and we're a mess and we should never be able to work together," he told her, causing tears to run down her face. "But we do… we do work and somehow after everything we always come back to each other.

"I can't promise that I won't fuck up again, because I'm useless and you deserve better than me. Honestly, you're too good for anyone else on this planet, not just me. But I can promise that I will do everything I can to prevent me fucking up and if I do and we break up again, no matter what happens I will still fight for you and never give up on us.

"A few weeks ago I truly though I had nothing in my life except for Rachel, but then I realised that was just what she wanted me to think. I was miserable like that, thinking she was all I had left. But with you, I don't care if you're the only good thing in my life or if you're the best of many, as long as you're a part of my life I'll be happy." He laughed, sounding slightly crazy as he let all his pent up feelings out.

"You know, I was actually going to ask you to marry me to prove how committed to this I am," he told her.

"You what?" she asked, in shock.

"I changed my mind though, sort of. We're way too young, too stupid… especially me. But I have a better idea, give me a year; give me a whole year after we graduate. In this one year, no matter what arguments we have, no matter what happens to us and no matter who tries to force themselves between us, Rachel, Puck or someone new, we will stay together. I'll be yours and you'll be mine, no matter what. Then at the end of that year, if you still love me and you can look back on that year without wishing you were never with me, if at the end of that year you still want me, give me another year. Then another and another and another and then when we know we can do this, then I'll ask you to marry me.

"When we know it's not just some teenage fantasy, if we can make it through high school and graduation, the summer, college and getting a job and all those other obstacles – and I'm pretty sure we can – we can make it through anything, because most couples don't even make it through the first hurdle.

"I can promise that much, if it's not enough then just remember I love you, good luck with Yale and I hope one day we'll find each other again like we always do" He kissed her on the cheek and wiped away more of her tears. "Just think about it, okay?"

"I used to think first loves were forever, but I was wrong…" she said, making him sick with disappointment.

"I understand," he told her beginning to walk away.

"Finn wait, you need to let me finish," he turned back to her to see her smiling slightly.

"First loves aren't forever, you might always remember them and they might always be important to you, but most of the time they end. That's why they call it a _first _love, because you are supposed to have more than one, because it ends. But that's what makes what we have so special, you were my first love Finn, and after Puck and Rachel and Sam and Brittany and Santana… for both of us… we still love each other, you stood by me when I was pregnant, _Puck_ barely even stood by me and it was his baby. We have both made so many mistakes and yet somehow you still make me think that maybe first loves can be forever… One year," she paused, seeming to consider his idea. "I've been in love with you for more than three, one is a piece of cake," she pulled him into a kiss and he felt sparks shoot through his entire body; he kissed back ferociously. Every touch made him feel fireworks again, then he realised he didn't just feel them; he could hear them.

He pulled away from the kiss and opened his eyes to see Quinn's face being lit up by flashes of orange, red and blue.

"_I've got to go," Santana told Brittany making sure Finn noticed, she turned to him, "I've got a special surprise to remind you and Quinnie-bee how much you actually love each other," she told him, giving him a wink and then running off._

'Santana is a genius…' he though to himself. He watched the fireworks for a few moments before turning back to Quinn, she grinned at him making him grin right back. He rested his forehead on hers, taking her hands in his.

"Fireworks…"

The End

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><p><strong>AN: Thank you for reading :) I was gunna go on a break from multi-chapters but after what happened last episode I have an idea for a Fuinn fic that I might write. (the thing is I bet someone else will have had the same idea and will probably it better than me :P it'll depend how much I like what I write on whether I actually post it since there's most likely going to be a hell of a lot of 'after the accident' fics for the next few weeks xD)**


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